The Ghost of a Good Thing
by me-luv-GH
Summary: Disowned, divorced, and alone, she finds herself in a situation that holds a dark future ahead of her.
1. For You To Notice

**A/N: ** What the devil? Me? Again? Yes, it is true. I finally did get my internet back so I will be updating my stories a hell of a lot faster. So here's this one: it's taking place about maybe a week after the whole "disowning" thing happened. Everything up to that point has happened, (alcazar, sam, etc.) except for Baldwin is still there just cuz he's fun to hate. though I'm not sure about the time line of it, I'm just going to say its happening after carson is living together for Michael so they're not "together". So saddle up, here it is!

**Disclaimer: **Curse you legalities! (shakes fist in the air). Not mine….

* * *

_"You're chasin the ghost of a good thing. Haunting yourself as the real thing. It's getting away from you again. But you're chasin ghosts..."_

* * *

**Ch. 1 For You To Notice  
**

He quickly maneuvered his way through the bustling building. Eager to reach his target and get more than just an idea of what was going on. The weighted briefcase stayed attached to his hand. As always filled with various papers and documents that could and usually did help these situations.

But it wasn't just the documents or his knowledge of the corrupted history that the department didn't want to resurface that came to his clients rescue. He knew what they all knew. Justus Ward was a damn good lawyer.

Eyeing his destination, he prepared himself for whatever it was that would come. Spotting the young Officer Spencer outside one of the interrogation rooms, he made the assumption that was where he was needed and approached the young man.

"In there?" he asked Lucky who nodded in response.

"Your expertise is definitely needed for this one."

Justus gave him a light pat on the shoulder in thanks before opening the door and closing it behind him

* * *

. 

The day was coming to an end, and the night was just beginning its reign over the city. Carly Corinthos sat on the couch with a bowl of fresh popcorn in her lap and bottle of soda on the table. She was waiting for her oldest son to decide on what movie they would be watching. While she waited, she poured both of them a generous amount of the carbonated beverage in the glasses they had sitting out and thought with a smile how upset his father would be if saw what they were doing. No worries, Sonny was off on "business" and wouldn't be back anytime soon.

"What is taking that boy so long?" she asked out loud.

She decided to see if there was anything on the television that could interest her for the time it would take Michael to make up his mind. Just her luck, the only program that appeared the slightest bit interesting was quickly interrupted by a news bulletin.

"_Breaking News…Assistant District Attorney Ric Lansing was found murdered inside his apartment just minutes ago…."_

Carly let a smirk appear on her face at the news. She lifted the glass of soda to her lips.

"About time." she murmured behind the cup before letting the liquid pass her lips.

"_A neighbor in the building called police reporting that they heard a gunshot. When the officers arrived the suspect was still at the scene and immediately taken into custody. This was the scene just moments ago when local resident Courtney Morgan was apprehended by police."_

The liquid she'd been drinking spewed from her mouth at the words. She looked at the screen to see footage of her sister in law being led in handcuffs through a crowd of photographers, reports, and plain old spectators that gathered outside the building.

"Holy Sh-" Carly put her hand over her mouth to stop herself, barely remembering the little ears that could be in earshot. She picked up the phone and dialed Sonny's number.

"Damn it." she whispered angrily hanging up just as Michael came down the stairs.

"I picked one. What are you watching?" his mother immediately grabbed the remote and turned off the box before he could see anything.

"Nothing." she answered quickly. "Sorry, Mister Man, change of plans. Mommy has to go out for a little bit. Leticia!"

The young nanny came rushing down the stairs at the sound of her name.

"What is it, Mrs. Corinthos? I just put Morgan to sleep."

"I have to go out. Keep an eye on the boys. No TV, or radio, or any type of news. Understand?" she rambled on her way out the door.

"Yes, but what's wrong?" she asked worried.

" I just, I have to go. I'll be back as soon as I can."

**A/N:** again with the legal issues. Song Credit is Dashboard Confessional's Ghost of a Good Thing


	2. Remember To Breathe

**A/N:** I'm putting this up at the same time as the first so I don't know what sort of reviews I'm getting yet. Hopefully its good. If not,  but I'll live. Feel free to criticize suggest praise offer money whatever you feel like as long as its what you actually think. Anyhow, off we go…

**Ch. 2 Remember to Breathe**

"If you want me to get you out of this you have to talk to me."

To Justus' disappointment, she remained silent. He'd tried to get her to talk to him so he could at least attempt to get her out of there. But she hadn't even acknowledged him let alone answer his questions.

"Do you want me to call someone?" Again silence, so Justus simply told her he'd return and exited the room.

Outside the room he pulled out his phone and called his number one client. Getting his voicemail, he assumed Sonny had to be "taking care of business" or something that fell in the same category. So he left a message for the mob boss to get back to him as soon as possible.

* * *

He got up from the table and threw down the money for his coffee. Jason knew he wanted the coffee, but before he came in the diner he made sure that Mike wasn't there. Nothing against the guy, but things were way too tense since everything that went down.

He mounted his bike just as his phone rang.

"Hello? What do you need? The police station?"

* * *

"What the hell is going on, Justus?" Carly demanded angrily when she found the man.

"Carly-"

"My best friend is arrested and you can't call? I have to see it on the news?"

"I was trying to-"

"How long has she been here? Why haven't you got her out yet?"

"Carly!" he hissed finally putting an end to her rants. "Calm down and listen. I've left at least three messages for Sonny, I just got off the phone with Jason, and I was going to call your house when you came in here. I don't know exactly how long its been because I only got here about thirty minutes ago. I only know about this because Lucky called me. I can't get her released because she's not talking."

"Why did Lucky call you?"

"I don't know, they're friends I guess. I know he helped her with the Faith situation. It doesn't matter."

"How bad is it?"

"Not Good." he said regretfully. "Maybe you can convince her to tell me what happened. I can't help her if she doesn't help herself."


	3. Broken Hearts and Concrete Floors

**Ch. 3 Broken Hearts and Concrete Floors**

The heavy door opened and she heard the heels clicking against the tile floor. Just as before, she did not bother to look up at her visitor, not that the table was that interesting. The metal screeched against the floor as the woman pulled out the other chair and sat across from her.

"Table's pretty mesmerizing, isn't it?" Carly joked, breaking the silence. "How long have you been here?"

Normally, Carly was partly a fan of a one-sided conversation. Especially when she wanted to rant about everything and dump all her emotions off her chest at once without interruption. But this wasn't one of those times. This was a serious situation, and staying quiet could only make it worse.

"You know, Justus is doing what he can, but as good as he is, you have to help him a little. Why don't you tell me what happened? Come on Courtney, you have to say something."

Before she could continue, Carly heard shouting coming from outside and a second later the door burst open and the angry brunette came charging through.

"How could you?" She seethed. "All the times you said how dangerous and unstable Ric was, when you were a psychopath all along. You're going to rot in jail you murdering bitch!"

"Elizabeth, didn't you and Ric get divorced not too long ago for the second time?" Carly pointed out defending her best friend who looked as if she hadn't even heard the petite woman's harsh words. "You must have seen how crazy he was."

"Doesn't mean I wanted him dead. But you.." she pointed at Courtney. "You're going to get what you deserve." she said before storming of the room leaving the door open. Carly saw through the doorway the young man who just entered the station and went out to meet him.

* * *

"Jason, thank God."

"What's going on? Courtney was arrested?" he asked confused.

"They think she killed Ric. Justus is trying to get a release but she isn't talking to him or anyone else."

"I'll talk to her." Jason offered moving to the door. Before he could enter, a voice called out to him.

"Not so fast Morgan."

"You're not stopping me, Baldwin." he said to the annoying D.A. "I'm going to talk to my wife."

"Wife?" he let out a small chuckle. "Last I heard she hasn't been you wife for a while. I see she still has your last name, isn't that sweet? She do that to show you how much she loves you? Makes you wonder just what else she would do. Either way it doesn't matter. We have all we need to put your ex away for murder. Just waiting for the forensics report on the weapon to put the icing on the cake."

"You can't honestly think-" Carly began.

"I don't have to think." he interrupted. "We got a witness who saw her go into Lansing's building, we got a dead A.D.A., we got a murder weapon, and we got the suspect at the scene when our guys arrived."

"That doesn't mean anything. There's a million possible explanations." Carly announced.

"Just accept it. We got blondie with Lansing's blood on her hands. Literally." he smiled at his own joke and walked away, leaving a fuming Jason behind him.

"I don't care what he says. I'm finding out what's going on." Jason stomped past Carly and into the room his ex wife was in.

* * *

"Hey." he said quietly, entering.

A moment ago he'd been headstrong about talking to her. Now that he was there, he felt uncomfortable and unsure of what to say. The night he signed the papers wasn't a good one. Definitely not a friendly ending, but he had to put that aside and try to help her now.

"How are they treating you? You comfortable?"

Instead of answering him, she lifted her hands from her lap and put them on the table, displaying the metal bracelets clasped around each wrist. Jason nodded, understanding what it was like to be in a police station for hours. But he was used to it, it was his life. It wasn't supposed to be hers.

"What were you doing at Ric's?" he ran a hand through his hair. " Will you at least look at me?"

He was a little surprised when she actually lifted her gaze and did as he asked. The part of him that was surprised was the part that then wished she had ignored him. He didn't like what he saw. A pale, emotionless gaze that was the complete opposite from the sparkling orbs he'd known for so long.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in a voice as cold and hollows as her eyes.


	4. This Bitter Pill

**A/N: **Jeezy Creezy! Thanks you guys for the awesome reviews…Don't want to make it seem like I don't love them all equally but I have to say a whopping thanks to Rheanne. You're review was soooo great, thank you so much for the things you said. I love your stories you're an awesome writer. P.S. I'm glad you like the ch. title. But like I said I love any and all reviews that I get. Even if it's just "update" at least it lets me know that you're reading….anyway.

**Ch. 4 This Bitter Pill**

"What are you doing here?"

"What am I…Why do you think I'm here?"

"Sonny send you? To make sure I don't make some sort of deal; him for me?"

"No, Sonny didn't send me." he answered, shocked that she thought that was the only reason he'd come. "I'm here to make sure you get out of here."

"Why? It's not like we're married." she responded dryly.

"Don't do this. Let me help you."

"Jason, the papers are signed and I'm out of your life like you wanted. So my problems are just that; mine."

"Courtney-" he was cut off when the door opened and Baldwin arrogantly crossed the threshold, Carly in tow.

"Just the perp I wanted to see." he stated happily. "I guess you two would probably like to hear this too."

"Just spit it out, Scott." Carly demanded.

"Fine, since I'm feeling generous-"

"Sonny!" the woman who'd been screaming at him now screamed across the room. Sure enough when he turned around, the D.A. saw the cities top mob boss coming towards them.

"And the gifts keep on coming!" he announced, joyously.

"What's going on? Why did Justus tell me to get down here?" the confused man asked wanting to catch up on the situation.

"Well Corinthos, I was just about to say that according to the forensics report your sister's prints are all over the gun that killed your brother." he said, enjoying the look that came over the mans' face. "I can picture the family Christmas card, now."

"Ric's dead?" Sonny asked.

"The slowest runner crosses the finish line. Don't you watch television? It's been all over the place. You may not think so, but apparently it's a big deal when someone murders a member of the police force." he paused for a second as a new thought popped into his head. "You know what I think? I think you should stick to having Angerboy here take care of you enemies. He's not nearly as sloppy."

"You think I ordered this?"

"Whether you did or not, she…" he pointed a finger at Courtney, who hadn't even flinched at the news. "is going up river. Spencer!"

"Yeah?" Lucky asked approaching.

"Take our newest patron to her cell. I know it may not be as lavish as the places you're used to staying in, but the view brings a smile to your face. Well, to mine anyway." he laughed at his own joke and walked away, leaving the young officer to do his duties.

"I'll try and get you a bail hearing as soon as possible." Justus said, which told Courtney that he'd been there also. She was hardly paying attention to anything going on.

"Lucky wait." Carly spoke. "I know we're not that close, but technically we are family. You think you could give us a minute?"

"Sure, five minutes." he offered his cousin, leaving them to their privacy.

"Justus is good, he'll get a hearing and you'll be out of here before the nights over." Carly said trying to sound optimistic. "An actual trial shouldn't be for a while, that's good. Self-defense. It was self-defense right? They can't put you in prison for protecting yourself."

"Jason, could you and Carly give me a minute alone with my sister?" Sonny asked, and he heard Courtney mumble something. "What?"

"I said, 'What sister?' You don't have one, remember?"

"You forced me to do that, damn it!" he shouted.

"That's right. The awful crime of not wanting to see either of you arrested. You must be loving the irony here."

"You think I like this? If you recall, I didn't want you anywhere near this life. I did everything I could to keep you away from it. You didn't listen and look what happened!"

"Yep, that's you. Sonny the wise, knows what's best for everybody, right? Who were you helping when you slept with Sam? Who was that for?"

"Don't bring that up! You have no right!" Sonny cast a quick glance at Carly. He'd hoped they had started to forgive each other for their mutual infidelities. He looked back to Courtney to see her stand up and stare him straight in the eyes.

"You know who I was thinking about? The night of my 'great betrayal'?" Your boys. Having to grow up with a father in prison. Having to see how much they'd miss you everyday. Your wife. Even me. So that's my horrible treason. Trying to prevent that whole situation from being experienced."

"I knew what I was doing! I knew how to handle it! What about you? What the hell are you doing? Tell me what in God's name happened!" he screamed in her face.

Carly looked back and forth between the two. Neither backing down. They were more alike than they knew, or would ever admit. Both cared deeply and would do anything necessary when it came to family, and both had quite the fiery temper when it was pushed to the breaking point.

"Do you think I did it?" Courtney asked, breaking the silence between the siblings.

"What?" he asked.

"I want to know. Do you, Sonny Corinthos, all knowing and all powerful, do you think I killed Ric?"

Carly waited for him to deny it, but he didn't. Now it was he who was staying silent.

"Sonny, tell her. Tell her you know it's not true." Carly practically begged.

"It's not like you've never shot someone before."

"Sonny!" Carly hissed at him. She was in disbelief. Had he actually said that? Yes, he did.

"Well, now I know how you feel." she said like all he'd done was comment on her clothing instead of openly doubt her innocence. "We're not family. I'm not your sister. I'm not the boys' aunt. Isn't that what you wanted?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but couldn't think of anything to say. The door opened and Officer Spencer returned.

"It's time to go." he said regretfully.

Without hesitation, she allowed the him to lead her out of the room, not looking back once.

**A/N:** that was kinda long, wasn't it? Sorry, I just didn't see a point in this that I wanted to break it off.


	5. Places You Have Come To Fear Most

**A/N:** Ah ha! I've update twice in the same day! I'm sneaking up on you like the Spanish inquisition…NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!! Monty Python moment, sorry.

**Ch. 5 Places You Have Come To Fear Most**

Her footsteps padded against the floor, the only noise to be heard as she paced the length of the cell. She could see why Sonny's panic attacks would set in, the place didn't have much space. But as far as she knew, she wasn't claustrophobic so she'd be ok. That was a lie, she wasn't ok. And now everything was so much worse. She sat on the edge of the small mattress and put her head in her hands, and closed her eyes.

FlashBack

_She slowly entered the building, and rode the elevator up. Unsteadily putting one foot in front of the other until she was at his door. Making a fist she began to pound on it. Harder each time until he finally opened it. The smug expression on his face made her stomach turn._

"_Well, what do I owe the pleasure?"_

End

Courtney shook away the foggy memory, hearing someone walking in the corridor. Her eyes traveled to the bars to see her lawyer. She walked over and stood across from him.

"There's good and bad news." he started. "The good is the judge overlooking the hearing has a reputation for being lenient. The bad is it's not until tomorrow. So you'll have to stay the night here." he said and was relieved that his client actually spoke to him. Even if it was one word, it was a definite improvement.

"Thanks." she said quietly.

"Alright, don't worry. There shouldn't be a problem getting bail. Try and sleep, it's been a long day. I'll be back in the morning go over everything for the hearing."

She nodded and turned away, waiting to hear his retreating steps. When she did, she leaned her back against the bars and let out a shaky sigh. It was obvious she wouldn't be getting any sleep, but she tried anyway. The remaining hours of the night ticked slowly away.

* * *

The morning had finally come and Jason sprung up and across the hall. He let himself in, assuming that someone would be awake. His assumptions were correct as he saw Sonny standing near the window in the living room.

"You get any sleep?" he asked his mentor.

"Nope, you?"

"Same. Carly upstairs?"

"Yeah. She's mad at me. For what I said yesterday." he answered looking down at the drink in his hand. Jason was glad to see it was just coffee. Drinking this early would not be wise, especially with the hearing that afternoon. But he understood Carly's feelings. He himself had been thrown by the response Sonny had given.

"Do you really think Courtney shot Ric?" Jason asked, a little worried about the answer.

"I don't want to."

* * *

The door opened and she entered the loft and flopped down on the couch. Glad it was the sofa Courtney was on and not another thin, springy, mattress. Not like Baldwin hadn't tried, though. She wondered if he even saved anything for the actual trial. Trial. The thought made her groan, all she wanted to do was be back in a time when she could relax. Relaxing sounded great, she hadn't got anything sleep the night before. She laid back on the soft cushions of the couch and shut her eyes.

Flashback

_Blood. It was everywhere. She'd never seen so much blood before. A wave of sickness came over her. She began to back away, unable to take her eyes off what lay before her. Bile rose in her throat and the room began to spin. The ground was slick under her shoes, and she lost balance. Falling forward, she put her hands out to brace the fall. On her knees, she immediately pulled her hands out of the puddle._

_Her mind seemed incapable of forming a thought. A scream caught in her chest and she frantically wiped her hands on the fabric of her jeans._

"_Get off. Get off. Get off." her voice cracking in hysterics. _

_A loud bang echoed from the door._

"_Police!"_

End

Courtney's eyes shot open and she ran her hand over her face. Shaking her head, she went to the kitchen in hopes a glass of water would calm her down. The clear liquid filled the cup. Before she could get a sip, a quick knock sounded on her door. She really didn't want company. None the less, she approached the door, glass in hand. She pulled back the thick wood door to see her visitor.

A gasp came past her lips. Courtney stared in horror at the sight. His messed up hair sat atop his ghost pale face, leading down to his formerly white shirt, now stained a deep red. His sunken eyes held hers and a sickening grin spread across his face.

"Hello Courtney." his ghoulish voice sent shivers throughout her body.

The glass crashed to the floor, shattering and sending the shards and the untouched liquid all over the hardwood.

"Ric."


	6. Rapid Hope Loss

**A/N:** Yay!!! Reviews are fun! By the way twinklegirl18297, I'm glad you also understand the genius that is Monty Python. "...It's just a flesh wound!" teehee. anyway...

**Ch. 6 Rapid Hope Loss**

"Ric."

The word was barely audible as she spoke it, staring in disbelief. She watched the smile disappear from his lips. The devious look he arrived with transformed into one of confusion.

"What did you say?" he asked.

After blinking several times, she could see that the dead man wasn't there after all.

"Courtney?" Carly asked, her friend looking miles away.

"Nothing." Courtney lied and knelt to pick up the glass bits off her floor.

"Ok." she replied deciding to let it go then lowered to help clean up the mess.

"Thanks."

"It's nothing. Why did you drop it?"

"I was surprised to see you, that's all." she explained.

"Do you break something every time company comes over? I mean, you looked like you'd seen a ghost."

The last word made Courtney stop her movements and let out a small sigh. Her friend could see she had struck a nerve and wanted to slap herself for being so stupid. "It was a joke. I didn't mean to remind you about...never mind."

She stood up and threw the shards in the trash, not wanting to hear the excuse the woman had for coming by. But it didn't matter, as Carly began to speak again.

"You know I was thinking, we really haven't had a girls day in a while. So what do you about tomorrow; you and me-"

"Carly," she cut in." what did you really come for?"

"Ok, so you caught me. I wanted to see how you were, you know, with everything."

"Fine." she responded.

"Yeah, and I never touch junk food." she answered sarcastically. "Tell me the truth; you're not ok."

"You're right. I'm not ok. I'm so far from it, I don't remember what ok feels like. Ok is a whole other lifetime ago." she confessed.

A brief silence fell between the two, and Courtney found herself wishing she would just leave. The other woman seemed to catch on to the tension, because she gave an excuse for having to go. Probably to report to Sonny how pathetic her situation was. Knowing their relationship, it would give him a laugh. She saw Carly stop just outside the door and face her.

"You know, what Sonny said at the station, he didn't mean it." she offered.

"Yes, he did. Bye, Carly."

She closed the door before her friend could try to respond.


	7. The Good Fight

**A/N:** Yay, reviews are fun. I love reading them. Anyway, so stupid Bush (president not the band) is having his inauguration tomorrow so there won't be any soaps. But I guess that's good because I have to work tomorrow night and at least I won't be missing anything.

**Ch. 7 The Good Fight**

As the days passed the town was buzzing with talk of the murder. Everyone had different theories on what had actually happened. Some though it was a last ditch effort to reach Jason. Others thought she had simply snapped. But just about everyone agreed that Courtney must have done it.

Courtney herself did her best to keep living her life as she normally would. But that proved to be pretty near impossible. Always getting stares and whispers in her direction wherever she went. But she refused to become a recluse. If she thought about it, she was stuck between a rock and a hard place; couldn't go out, couldn't stay in.

The small diner was nearly empty, so she figured it would be easy to get in and get out. She entered the building and immediately approached the counter ignoring the few patrons she felt looking at her. Part of her was glad it was her father there, because he was one of the few people left in the town that would look at her without accusations in their eyes, but still a part of her wasn't because he would undoubtedly ask her how she was and other questions she didn't want to hear.

"Hey." he greeted happily. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm just picking up an order." she answered.

"Okay, just a second." he disappeared in to the back and returned moments later with a paper bag.

It wasn't much, but she really didn't care. She usually ended up only eating a bite or two if she was lucky. If it weren't for the fact that food was a necessity, she probably wouldn't eat at all. Anytime she thought she had an appetite, the gruesome images forced themselves to her mind's eye and she would end up fighting the urge to throw up.

"Hey." Mike started. "Deep thoughts?"

"How much is it?" she asked, ignoring his question.

"Are you ok?"

"Fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Well I am, ok?" she answered, a bit of annoyance showing in her voice.

"Can you please be honest? Admit this whole ordeal is taking a toll."

"How much is it?" she asked again, trying to get the point across that she didn't want to talk about her pathetic excuse for a life.

"Are you even going to eat this if I give it to you?" he asked. It was obvious, she wanted to get out of there and that his questions were irritating her. But he was worried about her, and as far as he was concerned he had every right.

She reached in her pocket and pulled out whatever amount of cash she had and slapped it onto the counter. She hadn't counted it, but it was certainly more then enough for the order.

"Keep it." she said grabbing the bag and taking off.

* * *

"Find out. I want to know everything he did and everyone he was in contact with." Jason ordered into the phone before hanging up.

He wanted to use every resource at his disposable to try and get even the slightest bit of reasonable doubt. Anything that could throw off Baldwin's case the tiniest inch could help. Jason took a look at his surrounding and realized that the docks probably weren't the best place to conduct business. But if he thought about it, he wasn't doing anything illegal.

Trying to solve a murder wasn't a crime. In fact, it was probably one of the few times he would find himself on the right side of the law. But anyone would do it for someone they love. Loved, he corrected himself. Or was it love? Why did the one letter make such a huge difference? However he felt about Courtney, he knew he'd do whatever he could to help her.

As if on cue, he turned to see his ex-wife walking across the wooden planks. She looked in a hurry and didn't seem to acknowledge him at all. in fact it even appeared that she sped up to get by. Jason got the feeling that the day was going to get worse. Unable to shake it off, he followed in the direction she had gone.

**A/N:** oh lordy lord how could it possibly get any worse? i don't know lets find out together shall we?


	8. Carve Your Heart Out Yourself

**A/N:** Sorry its been forever on this story. I got sucked into a major edit fest of Spiral and me and betty rewrote the next couple of chapter about 5 times to get it where we want. on top of that school's been driving me crazy! that's what I get for having AP classes. anyway, I'm here now and that's what's important now, right? coughkillsamcough sorry I think I have a little cold...

**Ch. 8 Carve Your Heart Out Yourself**

He found himself outside of her loft. He was surprised by a slight pang deep in his chest at the thought. It was theirs. Now it was hers. Pushing the feeling aside he continued on until he was outside the door that kept in so many memories. He gently knocked and waited. After a few seconds he knocked again, this time louder. Still no answer.

"Courtney." he called knocking again. "It's me, it's Jason."

He pulled away, ready to bust the door down when it finally cracked open. He could see a blue eye peering through the crack before she pulled it all the way open.

"What do you want?' she asked tiredly.

"I saw you on the pier."

"I know."

"You looked upset, I wanted to see if you're ok."

"That's the question of the day isn't it" she replied.

"I know this isn't easy for you. But I want you to know I'm doing what I can to fix this. But to that I'm going to need to know what happened. Everything."

"How many times do I have to say this" she began. "You are not responsible for me. You don't have to fix anything."

"I want to help."

"But it's not your problem."

"I" he began and stopped at the sound of a ringing phone. For once, it wasn't his phone that was interrupting them. He waited for her to answer it, but she didn't move. "Are you going to get it"

"No. Probably more reporters. Even if it's not I really don't feel like talking to anyone right now." he nodded his head, taking the small hint he sensed in her statement. He turned to leave when her answering machine clicked on.

"Courtney it's Justus, if you're there you need to pick up. I just got out of a meeting at the PCPD. There's a trial date. It's scheduled for the 16th. Do you understand what I'm saying? A week from tomorrow. It's crucial that you call me as soon as you hear this."

The message ended and the small machine beeped. Jason looked at the woman in front of him and tried to read her face, when she turned to look back at him. She seemed to not be phased at all by the news of the coming event. He wished he could say the same. It was too soon. There had barely been anytime for him to do anything. Jason couldn't believe how fast everything was happening. He needed to do something. And he needed to do it now.

"Start packing." he blurted out.

"Start packing? What are you talking about" she asked.

He opened the closet and pulled out a suitcase, placing it on her mattress. Jason began pulling clothes out and stuffing them into the carrier.

"What are you doing"

"Packing."

"I can see that."

He ignored her and continued tucking away various articles of clothing. As he put them in, Courtney would pull them out.

"Why are you packing my clothes" Upon the question he stopped and looked at her.

"You're right." he said simply, and grabbed her hand. Pulling her behind him, he traveled across the living space and headed for the door. "We'll get you everything you need when we get there."

"Get where? Jason, stop." she planted her feet and pulled her hand out of his. "Do you want to tell me what's going on"

"I'm getting you out of here. Until everything is taken care of."

"Jason, I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes, you are. Come on." he reached for her hand again but she pulled back. "Don't do this."

"I'm not doing anything. If you want to go somewhere, go. But I'm not."

"Now is not the time to be stubborn." he said, trying to keep his cool. "Actually, it's the worst time."

"Jason, just go. You never know when sonny might need you."

She watched him shake his head the slightest bit, the way he did when he was disappointed, and then turn and close the door loudly.

Jason stood in the hallway and kept his eyes on the door. He left figuring he could come back in a while and talk to her.

**A/N:** I'm not sure but this seems shorter than the others. if it is: I'm sorry. if it's not: forget I said anything.


	9. Bend Not Break

**A/N: ** waiting...waiting...waiting...waiting...finally Jason got his sense back! wait, no, false alarm he's still with sam. waiting...waiting...waiting...waiting...(while we're waiting, here you go!)

**Ch. 9 Bend Not Break**

He stood by the wet bar impatiently waiting. Every so often his chocolate gaze went to the door to his home. Finally it opened and he watched his right hand man enter the room.

"What's wrong? You said on the phone it was important."

"Yeah, it is. The trial is the 16th."

"Courtney's" he asked though the answer was obvious.

"Yeah, I was there when Justus called."

"Isn't that a little soon"

"I called Justus on the way over. Baldwin's got the evidence and he's positive he'll get a conviction. As scheming as he was, Ric was an important authority figure and people want his killer put to justice."

"Do something. Find a way to get it delayed until we figure out what to do." he demanded.

"What to do about what" The men turned to see Carly descending the stairs with a now awake Morgan in her arms.

"Carly" her husband began.

"Hmm...let me guess, it's business. Am I in for another 'go upstairs Carly and no eavesdropping.' speech" she asked bouncing the cooing baby on her hip. "Because we never get tired of those. Do we Morgan? No we don't."

"Carly" he started again.

"Fine, I'm going." she turned to head back upstairs.

"Courtney's trial is in a week." Sonny called after her, knowing she would just find out on her own.

"What? Don't just sit there get off your a" she stopped herself hearing her son giggle in her arms. "Just do something."

"I've got people combing over everything. Looking for any detail that can help." Jason explained.

"How long will they take? You said it yourself, a week. That jerk hasn't even been cold that long." she sneered. Sonny turned back to Jason.

"Here's what I want you to do. I want you to get my sister, get on the jet and go. Take her to the island or the other side of the world; I don't care. Just get her out of the country" he ordered his former brother-in-law.

"She won't go. I already tried."

"Try harder" Sonny hollered.

"What do you want me to do? Drag her on the plane" he asked.

"If you have to" he shouted back at him.

"Ok, ok." Carly interjected. " God, you men and your violence. I don't think that'll be necessary. We'll talk to her."

"Damn right we'll talk to her. I'll"

"Stay calm, or I'll go myself." Carly finished before the angry man could say what was on his mind. She handed the baby to his father before picking up the phone and dialing. Tapping her foot, she listened to it ring. Jason thought about telling her that she probably wouldn't answer but decided to just stand quietly and wait. Maybe it would be a different case, once she heard it was Carly calling her.

"I know you're there, so you might as well pick up." Carly began. "If you don't pick up we're just come over there and bang you're door down. Fine, have it your way."

"What are you going to do" Jason asked her after she hung up the phone and took the child back from Sonny.

"What I said I would. We're going over there, and convince her let you help. You stay here." she pointed to Jason, and exited the penthouse. Sonny only gave him a pat on the shoulder before he left himself.

* * *

A while later, three of the four Corinthos' were outside the door to Courtney's home. Carly took in Sonny's look of anxiousness and she knew she was going to have to keep him in check. The last thing that would help would be him blowing up and ordering her to do what he wanted. She looked at the bundle of joy sitting lazily in the stroller.

"Alright Morgan. Your big brother is at a friend's house so you're my hook. What you have to do is look drop-dead adorable for your aunt. Can you do that" she looked at the child who just stared back at her with his big brown eyes. "Perfect."

"You better not get my son used to being involved in your plans." Sonny joked.

"Shush. Don't listen to your father." she told the boy.

The man to her side knocked on the hard wood of the door. They waited, and Sonny was about to knock again when he heard the lock click on the other side. As she had before with Jason, she opened only a crack and looked at her visitors.

"Hey." Carly greeted. "You going to let us in or are we going to stand out here all day"

"I really don't feel like a visit right now, Carly." she said opening the door slightly wider.

"Not even for your nephew" she knew it was a weakness of hers, so she used it. Much to her delight, it worked. The door opened and they entered the room. "How long has it been since you've held him, huh"

She announced handing the baby to his aunt, and joining Sonny on the couch. The man had yet to say anything and she assumed that it was better then him screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Wow, you're getting so big" she complimented lifting her nephew into the air. The bright look of recognition that came on his face when he saw her, lifted her mood instantly.

It wasn't too long ago that she was the one that saw him every morning when he woke up and every night before he fell asleep. In that time, they developed a bond, like none she'd ever experienced. It helped ease the pain of losing her child. But it only made it at least ten times worse when it was time for him to go home. The emptiness in her heart heightened. Because she got a first hand view of the what she could have had. Morgan let out a giggle and brought her back to the present.

"He's missed you." Carly said, glad to see her friend happier then she'd been in a long time.

"You're going to break so many hearts." she told him.

"Jason told us what Justus said." Sonny, announced not wanting to beat around the bush any longer. Courtney let out a sigh and set the baby on her lap.

"Justus says a lot of things."

"About the trial." he added.

"What Sonny's trying to say..." Carly began trying to make up for his bluntness. " We think it would be a good idea if you let Jason get you out of here for a while."

"I should have known that's what this was about. I already went through this with Jason."

"We know but it's the best thing right now." Carly tried.

"How is it best? I'd be jumping bail. Which means if I get caught then I'm going straight to jail until the trial."

"True. But if you go, it gives us time to help you."

"Carly, I'm not going ok" Courtney stood up and put Morgan back in his stroller.

"What's wrong with you" Sonny shouted standing up. "Why won't you just accept our help? I won't have my sister spending her life in prison"

"Do you hear yourself? **You** won't have **your** sister. It's not about you"

"You were brought into this life because of me. If you'd never met me then this wouldn't have happened."

"God, is it lonely up there on the cross? This isn't about you, or even because of you! You have absolutely nothing to do with this."

"Ok, let's calm down and talk about this." Carly tried to interject.

"There's nothing left to talk about. It's getting late, you should take Morgan home. By the way, using your baby as bait..."she shook her head, and didn't finish the sentence. "I'll get the door for you."

Carly watched her friend walk past them to the door. Before she knew what she was doing, she picked up a nearby vase and brought it down on top of her head. Shattering the pottery, and sending the woman to the floor.

"Sorry honey." she said inhaling sharply at what she'd done. Sonny looked at her in shock.

"What the hell did you do that for" he asked in disbelief and knelt to check on the damage.

"She ok? I didn't hit her too hard, did I" she asked worried.

""She's not bleeding. Are you going to tell me what you were thinking" he questioned.

"Come on. She wasn't going to go, I had to do something." she reasoned.

"What happened to, us men and our violence"

"Shut up. I did what I did and it's a little late to go back now isn't it? Just get the plane ready and I'll call Jason."

* * *

He sat in the penthouse and waited. Any other day, in any other case Jason Morgan was a patient man. He could wait for someone to come to him with their problems. He could wait for someone to learn to trust him. But for some reason, he was running up the walls waiting for an update from his two best friends. Come to think of it, he always acted out of character when it came to her. She had that affect on him, and he didn't know why. Yes he did, because he loved her. He still loved her. It was something he thought he could get over. That night, he told her he didn't know her. That he never did. It wasn't true, but he said it. Now he sat alone in their old home and waited. Making the declaration of love to himself, made him weary. If it took him this long to admit it to in his mind, would he ever have the courage to admit it to her?

He heard a soft ring come from his pocket and he twitched in surprise. It took him a second to realize it was his cell phone. Hoping for good news, he opened it and spoke.

"Morgan."

"Hey, it's me." Carly said.

"You talk to her"

"Yeah."

"And" he asked anxiously.

"I think there may be a little dragging involved."


	10. This Is A Forgery

**A/N:** sorry it's been forever. do you hate me? fine I don't think much of you either! wait...don't leave. I'm sorry, we both said some things...but I'm confident we can move past this. with some therapy and medication I think we can all forgive and forget.

**Ch. 10 This Is A Forgery**

_Flashback_

_"Police! Open up!" someone shouted. _

_It was a minor warning before the door was kicked in and a few of Port Charles' finest stormed in, guns raised. She was able to tear her eyes off the sight before her in time to see them point their weapons at her._

_"Put your hands up." one of the shouted at her. "Come on lady. Hands. Now."_

_Everything was happening so fast, and it was impossible to register. Her mind was screaming at her to do what they said. Somehow Courtney was able to lift her shaking hands as he directed. One of them came to her and roughly pulled her hands behind her back. She didn't feel it though, she was looking at the man who had been shouting orders at her. He knelt down next to Ric and placed his hands under his jaw, before standing and speaking to the group._

_"He's cold."_

_End

* * *

_

Her eyelids opened in a flash and she sprung herself into a sitting position. The sudden motion resulted in a painful throbbing in her head. She let out a groan and laid back down.

"How's your head?" a voice asked, catching her off guard.

"What happened?" she asked putting her hands to her head.

"Carly's persuasive technique."

"Carly. We were talking about..." she trailed off as the memory came back. She sat up again and realized for the first time that she wasn't in her bed.

"What the-I tell you guys I'm not going so you force me?"

"No. Carly said she was going to talk to you. What she did came out of no where. But she did it because she cares. It was her way of helping." he said trying to explain his friend's actions.

"Great. Ok. She helped; I'm here. No we're going back."

* * *

"Do you think they're ok?" Carly asked, pacing the living room.

"Jason said he'd call us. Don't worry."

"Don't tell me what not to do. I can think for myself and do what I please."

"Like stuff that filth you call food into your body?" Sonny replied in his attempt at a joke.

"Yes, like that. And it's not filth, it's good."

"I remember when I could get you to eat actual food."

"Yeah, I remember a lot of things." she answered a hint of sadness in her voice. The mood in the room took a steep plunge as the air around them soaked in the meaning of her words.

"I know it isn't easy for you; staying here."

"It's for Michael."

"Yeah..." he said looking away. "for Michael."

Without meaning to, they had waded into dangerous waters. But she was right, it was for their son. That's what this whole arrangement was for. Their boy.

"So, uh, how long do you think it'll be before people realize Courtney's gone?" she asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know. The whole situation is bad, but it can get much. much worse." he responded. "You know, I keep thinking about the argument at the police station. I was stupid."

"No, you were upset and stressed. Come on, you just found out your brother was killed. Believe me, I'll be the first to say he deserved it. But he was your mother's son. As horrible a person as he was, you know there was a small part of her in him. I know, it isn't easy for you to deal with." she said trying to comfort him.

"Still, I should have been supporting her, instead of fighting with her."

Gently, she laid a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at the feeling of her touch, and their eyes met. For a moment it felt as if all the craziness that led them there had never happened. He couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he allowed himself to feel all those emotions. If he leaned in. If he placed his lips on hers.

Carly held the intense gaze of his dark eyes. She wanted so bad to be able to grab hold and never let go. But they'd been through this before and it always ended badly for both of them. They take the same steps and make the same moves. But she would not trade one moment of their past for anything in the world. All she wanted was to feel him love her again.

A knock at the door brought each of them out of their day dreams.

"Mr. Corinthos?"

"Yes, what is it?" he asked returning to business mode.

"Ms. Roscoe's here to see you." Sonny let out a sigh and heard the brunette grunt in annoyance. He gave her an apologetic look before she left the room.

"Send her in." he said reluctant to have to deal with the woman. Seconds later the platinum blonde strutted arrogantly into his home. "What do you want?"

"I came to offer you a favor." she ignored the small chuckle he made in response and continued. "I heard about Skipper's latest dilemma, then again who hasn't? I must admit I didn't think she had it in her to do something so deliciously devious. Hmm... actually right now I'm sort of regretting she didn't take that job I offered back when. You think she'd be interested -"

"Stop rambling and get to the point, Faith." he interrupted.

"Well, I figure with your brother dead and baby sister facing a long stay behind bars, business is probably the last thing on your mind. So consider this your chance to bow out gracefully with your life."

"Bow out gracefully?" he repeated amused.

"I'm saying you can hand over your territory now, or it won't be long before someone takes advantage of your distraction."

"Someone being you?" Sonny couldn't help but let out a slight laugh. Did she seriously expect him to go along with her ridiculous suggestion? "Faith, you're wearing down my tolerance. So I'll give you one warning; stay away. From my business. From my family. And from me."

"Or what? You going to have your obedient lap dog take me out? By the way, where is Jason? I haven't seen him around."

'That's none of your business."

"Hmm...maybe Courtney knows where he is. I think I'll stop by and ask. You think she's home?" she asked a sly grin spreading across her face.

"Get out. Now!"

"That's what I thought." she smirked before leaving.

It was no secret the woman annoyed Sonny. She was like a fly; always buzzing around and never going away. But what she suspected was true. She wouldn't find Courtney at her loft, or anywhere else in the country. No one would. Even he wasn't sure where they were, and he would not know until Jason called. But if Faith opened that big mouth of hers it would send everything into a nose dive. The last thing he needed was an enemy in Port Charles who had usable information they were just itching to spill. He went to the wet bar and grabbed a glass with the intention of getting a drink. Instead he just stared down at the liquid in his glass, before he knew what was happening the crystal was already out of his hand and tearing through the air towards the wall.

"Damn it!"


	11. So Beautiful

**A/N: **k, I'm getting really sick of Sam fans coming on to the journey message boards and slamming ALW. if they're going to talk about how much "better" they think Sam is then Courtney then that's what Sam message boards are for. second of all, Yes I completely tear through Sam, and everything she does and says, but I have never ever actor bashed. nothing against Kelly Monaco really, its just the character. fyi Sam was annoying way before the writers decided to put her and Jason together. that just made me hate her more.

**Ch. 11 So Beautiful**

"Jason we can't stay here." she said following him out of the room.

"You don't like it? We'll go somewhere else."

"No that's not it." she answered, taking a quick look out a nearby window. There was a great view of a beach. White sand, sparkling water, it was gorgeous. But it didn't matter. Being there was wrong and it would only get them both in trouble. "We have to go back to Port Charles."

"Why?"

"Do you really have to ask? Yes, this place is beautiful, but I jumped bail. I left the country, and you helped. You shouldn't be getting yourself into trouble for this."

"You want to go back to a city where you're accused of murder?" Jason asked her; he knew they would have this conversation. It didn't mean he had to like it. "Fine. We'll go back. I just have to make a call first, ok?"

"Fine." She sat down on the nearby couch to wait for him to finish his business.

He went into the next room, hoping that the time would grant some sort of miracle and she'd change her mind.

* * *

It had been over an hour since Jason had gone into the other room to make his call. The thought came to her that he was just in there wasting time so she'd change her mind. But it didn't stay long. One thing that would probably never change about him was that he didn't waste time. It just wasn't in him to do so.

Hugging herself, Courtney stood by the window and gazed out. Windows were a thing more complex then they let on. A person looking out sees one thing; a person looking in sees something completely different. At the moment, outside looking in seemed like paradise. What she would give for that view. Looking out of windows had always been able to calm her, but lately it seemed to have less and less affect.

It was like she'd fallen down a hole and nothing could pull her out and no one could reach her.

"Hey." the soft voice came from behind her.

"Hey." she answered turning to face him. "All done?"

"Yeah."

He'd spent the last hour or so on the phone with Sonny. Needless to say, his boss was not pleased to hear what he had to say. But it looked to him that she hadn't changed her mind. So he opted for one last try to sway her decision.

"Listen-" not for the first time in their history, his phone began to ring, interrupting them. With a sigh he pulled it out and flipped it open. "Morgan."

She listened to his end of the conversation. It wasn't much to read into. The usual 'yeah' and 'ok' that he had in just about every phone call. Only proving how little time he spent doing things that could be done quickly.

"What is it?" she asked once he'd finally hung up.

"Storm's coming. It's practically over our heads."

Courtney did a double take out the window and noticed it had indeed darkened outside. The sky looked ready to open up and pour at any moment.

"How bad is it?" she asked.

"Bad enough to keep us grounded." he answered, silently thanking God for somewhat answering his prayers. "We're not going anywhere."

**A/N: **i know this chap is shorter than most but i thought it would be sorta GH style to leave it here. i can totally picture this being said and then the whole fade out ..."stay tuned for scenes from the next general hospital." is it just me?


	12. This Ruined Puzzle

**A/N:** yippee! Two updates in less than a week….at least I don't think it's been a week since the last one. I could be wrong though. Hmm…if it is yay! If it's not…I'm sowwy

**Ch. 12 This Ruined Puzzle**

The sun had set, even though the sky was already dark from storm clouds, he could tell the sun had gone down. He stood on the balcony and took in the view. The heavy clouds looked ready to burst and cover the island in its rain. At the moment, Jason was thankful there was such a thing as tropical storms. It gave them the excuse to stay. A chance to talk.

He knew it was a bad place Courtney was in , and she refused his offers to help her. Now they were more or less stuck on the island and he was pretty sure that by now someone had noticed her absence. Baldwin would have people looking for them both. He hated to think about it, but if worst came to worst and they were caught, he hoped Sonny would've found something by then.

He took his eagle eyes away from the scene outside and went over to the spacious kitchen of the house. It had been prepared for their arrival, stocked full with any and every food and drink that someone would need

"Courtney." he called from the kitchen. When he heard no answer, he tried again. "Courtney?"

He ascended the stairs to the second floor of the building where the rooms were. He tapped on the door before cracking it and opening it slowly.

"Courtney are you alright?" he asked entering the room.

He saw her standing before the window of the room. It was obvious that she was deep in thought, which explained why she hadn't answered his calls. Walking further into the room he was soon at her back, but still, her focus remained at the glass.

"Hey." he said softly, placing his hand on her shoulder. She jumped in place at his touch and turned to look at him.

"Jason, he's here…" she blurted out quickly before looking over her shoulder where her gaze had been previously. At her words, Jason pulled her back and made sure she was safely behind him. He pulled out his gun and stood near the window peering out. No one was there.

"Who was here?" he asked, wanting to be sure she was safe.

"No-No one. It was no one." she cleared her throat and looked away. "Did you want something?"

Jason eyed his ex-wife, taking in her strange behavior. He wanted to help her, but she would not let herself open up to him. There was a time when she would tell him anything and everything. Her silliest fantasies, her deepest fears and everything in between. But that was before. Now he was standing on the outside all but begging her to open her door. A price he deserved to pay after the way he treated her.

"You hungry?" he asked remembering her question.

"No." she could tell he didn't like her answer.

"You should eat something."

"I will. When I'm hungry, but I'm not right now."

Jason nodded and left the room. Once she was alone, Courtney once again looked at the outside world. Nothing was there. He wasn't there.

* * *

"Michael, turn that down. You'll go deaf."

The boy reluctantly listened to his mother and turned down the volume on the television. With the sound lower he was able to hear his mom grumbling something about his dad not being home. He was glad they were a family again. But he knew something was different, though. It wasn't like it used to be.

His parents didn't act the way they used to. Nobody did; everything was different. His parents were not as close as before. His uncle was living alone again. He hardly got to see his aunt anymore. When he did it was because of his mom; and his dad yelled at her when he found out about it. They thought he didn't notice. That he didn't know, but he did. Didn't mean he understood. He wished everything would go back to the way it was. Why couldn't everybody just apologize and be happy again?

A loud knock on the door brought his mother back into the room. She opened the door and stepped back as the district attorney and a few officers pushed their way in.

"Hey! What are you doing here? Get out now!" she shouted at the man.

"Pipe down, we got a warrant to search the place. Morgan's too." Scott announced happily holding up the document for her to see. "Your husband home?"

"Not that it's any of your business but no. Sonny's not here."

"So you're alone right?" he asked walking around the living like he was looking for something.

"I'm here with my children, Scott. What do you want?" He didn't answer her, instead approached the young boy who stood watching the spectacle.

"Hi, Mikey." he greeted, squatting in front of the boy.

"Don't talk to my son. Michael, go upstairs sweetie."

"Hold on. I just want to ask the boy a question. Michael is your aunt here?"

"Don't answer him Michael. Listen, you have your warrant so get on with it. But you leave my boys alone." she said, angry that he was interrogating her son.

He nodded to the officers who scattered about heir home. She was one head upstairs and rushed over and grabbed his arm before he began his climb.

"There is a baby sleeping up there. If you wake him, I swear to God you'll know the true meaning of hell." she threatened. He looked at her warily, knowing she meant every word.

Once Scott was finally that they weren't hiding Courtney there or at Jason's, they left. Of course he hadn't passed up the chance to toss a threat to arrest everyone in her family for aiding and abiding. Carly slammed the door behind them, still furious that they'd dared to come into her home.

"Mommy?" she turned at her son's voice.

"Yeah, honey, what is it?"

"Why are the bad men looking for Aunt Courtney?"


	13. Morning Calls

**A/N:** sorry for the lack of updates. I've been uber-busy these past FOREVER but I finally have a break. I have nothing to do, and I don't work again until Thursday so I'm taking this lovely down time to give you this update...please, no. hold your applause. it was nothing really.

**Ch. 13 Morning Calls**

"He's cold." he stated simply.

"See a weapon around?" the one cuffing her asked, holding her upper arm to prevent her from attempting a getaway.

"Gotcha" he announced, finding the discarded firearm on the ground. He refrained from touching or moving it, so he wouldn't disrupt the scene before the forensics team could arrive. "Get her to the car. Press is going to have a field day with this, they're probably swarming the place already."

The others nodded and she was soon being lead out of the apartment and down the elevator. The front door to the building opened and she was instantly blinded by bright flashes of cameras.

Courtney opened her eyes and glanced around the dim room until she saw the clock.

4:51a.m.

She sighed and pulled herself out from the soft bed, though to her it might as well have been a concrete slab. It was nearly five in the morning and this was already the fourth time she had woken up. Her bare feet hit the floor and carried her down the stairs. The early morning was quiet and distributed the illusion of peace and serenity. The sun wasn't up yet. Or maybe it was. She sighed when she saw that the dark clouds still hovered above them. They had been hanging there for days and had yet to release a single drop of moisture.

Courtney wondered if they would ever stop taunting everything and rain already. Honestly, she was beginning to hate the rain. It seemed l like everything she'd once loved had been tainted one way or another. The most painful of them all had to be the rain. Sure she was haunted by memories; at the loft, the park, Kelly's, just Port Charles in general. But she could always move and run from those. But she couldn't run from the rain, or the reminders that came with it. She couldn't run from the feel of his hands on her face, or the taste of his against hers as the water fell around them.

If they were still together it would be a blessing to be on an island with him in a storm. His arms would be around her, as if to shield her from the world, while they laid warm in bed. But they weren't, and would never be again. She felt the sting of tears but refused to let them fall. She was so sick of tears. She thought that she had gained control of herself and the hollow space she felt inside.

She hadn't realized how long she'd sat there letting her mind wander, until she heard his footsteps come up behind her.

"How long have you been up?" he asked. Her gaze quickly traveled to a nearby clock, it was after six. The perfect time to see a beautiful sunrise if the stubborn clouds weren't in the way.

"A while. You?"

"Same. I was trying to be quiet, I didn't want to wake you." he told her honestly, though now it seemed that it was a pointless effort.

Not that he made much noise anyway, but he had been extra careful. Last night he checked in on her after she'd gone to bed. He ended up staying just outside the door watching her for a good part of the night. It was the reason he'd been so careful about the amount of sound he made. He'd seen her toss and turn throughout her sleep, he even saw her wake a few times. So he wanted to do his part to ensure that the small amount of time she was actually able to sleep were not disturbed.

"Any idea how much longer the storm'll stay over us?"

"No." he answered, upset that the her thoughts were still on returning. She was determined to go back and face this thing head on, as much as he hated it, he had to respect it. He snapped out of his thoughts when he saw her lacing up her shoes. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to take a walk." she answered before walking across the room.

"Be caref-" the sound of the door closing cut him off. Quietly he finished his sentence to the now empty house. "Be careful."

* * *

"Damn it! What do you get paid for?" Scott yelled angrily at the officers before him who returned from their search empty handed. "You haven't found a single trace of either of them!"

"We're sorry, sir." Lucky spoke for himself and the others who were at the receiving end of Baldwin's anger.

"Sorry doesn't bring me a killer in handcuffs does it?" he yelled at the young man.

"No sir."

"I want pictures of Morgan and Courtney on every station. I want to put up wanted posters, billboards, I don't care if you put their faces on God damned milk cartons. I want ever soul on this planet to know what they look like. They are to be considered armed, dangerous, and desperate. I will not let this one get away. Now go!"

"Yes, sir."

Scott was seething. He knew that something like this was going to happen, if Courtney was granted bail. It was a while family of criminals and deviants and they continued to escape any consequences no matter what the crime. But this time he refused to allow any of the Corinthos clan to slip through his fingers. Not now, not when he was all but guaranteed a conviction.


	14. As Lovers Go

**A/N: **yeah I know its been a while with this one…my problem is that I'll go from working on one to the other and then I'll get on this major roll on one and throw myself into it….plus with spring break I've been working almost everyday…so here it is…

**Ch. 14 As Lovers Go**

She walked slowly, destination in sight. Her dark curls bounced around her face as she took step after step and her heels clicked against the path until she stepped off onto the soft grass. She knelt in front of the stone fixture.

Richard Trevor Lansing

Elizabeth traced the lettering with her fingertips. The ground underneath her knees was still slightly fresh from the burial.

"Hey, Ric," she began. "I got this in the mail today. See? I remember when you ordered it, you talked about how it looked like one you had when you were a boy."

She held the teddy bear close to her chest. It was wearing a little police uniform and hat. He had seen it in a catalog and ordered it right away for the baby. The baby that was biologically another's but Ric loved it like it was his own and they had anxiously waited his arrival. But even the second time around their dream never got to be. Once again their marriage had crumpled to the ground.

"I'm sorry." she began in a whisper as a few tears began to fall. "I'm so sorry. I wanted us to work. So bad. You know there were times before the divorce was finalized that I almost came back. One day I even made it to you door before I turned around."

She foolishly tried to wipe away her tears only to have more come in their place. It was the truth. There were so many times she'd almost gone to him to suggest they try again. She kissed her fingers and placed it on the stone, her tears of grief and sadness immediately became ones of anger and hatred.

"She won't get away with it." she promised the engraved headstone that represented the final resting place of her ex. "The police will see she pays. And if they don't, I will."

* * *

Courtney came downstairs feeling slightly refreshed. After returning from her walk, she found Jason was not in the house and, after assuming he was working, decided to take a shower. The warm waterfall had taken her mind off things for the briefest of moments. She saw he was back, sitting on the couch looking at his hands and twirling his thumbs. He looked nervous about something. She wished she could ask him what was wrong. Find out what was bothering him and help and comfort him. But that wasn't her place anymore. He'd made that clear.

She guessed he was deep in his thoughts because he usually knew when she or anyone was there. It made him hard to surprise. She knew, she had tried on many occasions to surprise him and it never worked. She sighed trying to keep any memories of them away from her. He heard her and hopped to his feet, turning to look at her.

"I think we need to talk." he said.

"About what?" she asked, clearing her throat hoping he couldn't catch that she had been watching him.

"About…everything." he answered. "I spoke with Sonny. He talked to the witness that saw you go in Ric's building. An older guy, swears he saw you go inside before whatever happened, happened."

"Let me guess, did Sonny try to bribe him?" Jason only nodded, she'd hit the nail on the head.

"He wouldn't go for it. And he says that the police know you're gone. They've searched through your place and the penthouses already." he added he last part no just because he felt she should know, but to try and get her to respond to him more.

"Did you think they wouldn't notice?"

"People are looking for us, with the sky the way it is, I doubt we'll have to worry about them coming here yet."

"You shouldn't be worrying about this anyway." she stated and turned to leave the room, but he stopped her.

"Wait." he began. "That's not all."

"What else?" she asked hoping she wouldn't regret it, like she did so many other choices in her life.

"I want to talk to you about…" he trailed off, having to mentally force himself to spit out what he really wanted to say. It was harder than he thought it would be when he'd gone over the situation in his head. "…about us."

* * *

**A/N: **i have no idea what ric's middle name is so i just threw that in there... anyway the after this one, things are gonne be picking up meaning a certain secret about a certain murder will begin to be revealed...mwahahaha! 


	15. Several Ways To Die Trying

**A/N:** so the other day out of no where I started workin on this one like a mad woman...mad I tell you MAD! hence the update sooner than they've been coming. hope you likey...

**Ch. 15 Several Ways to Die Trying**

"About us."

"Us?" she repeated. He wanted to talk about them? As far as she knew they weren't an 'us', he probably only wanted to remind her of that.

"Yeah. With everything going on, I've been thinking a lot." he began, trying to figure out the best way to say it. "We... a lot has happened that we didn't plan, and its taken us to a place we never wanted to go. But we're here and..."

"Jason, stop." she interrupted, "Listen to yourself; what you're saying. 'We' and 'us', there isn't a we or an us anymore. Maybe you were right, maybe there never should have been."

Jason felt his voice fail him. She didn't mean it, she couldn't. It had taken him this long to finally let go of his pride and be ready to admit his true feelings, maybe she needed her own time to think through everything that happened between them.

"Don't do that." he said.

"Do what? Be honest?"

"Say something you don't mean." he answered. "I know things are looking bad now, but-"

"I'm not going to talk about this." she cut him off again. "Why don't you call my brother and see if he has another mistress you can protect? Or maybe he has an enemy you need to get rid of. So go. Take an order; take someone out. It's all you're good at you said so yourself. I just refused to see it before." she spoke inwardly wincing at her own harsh words, but it had to be done.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, catching on to what she was doing. She wanted him to turn around and walk away, but he wouldn't. "Why are you pushing me away?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I can't do it! I can't be close to you! I can't watch you put everything on the line for me. I can't listen to you tell me everything's going to be ok, and you'll fix it all. I just can't; I won't"

"Why not?"

"Because I know myself, Jason! I know what I'll do. I'll let my guard down and I'll get my hopes up. And I'll be setting myself up for a fall; a fall I don't want to take a second time. Because it'll hurt too much to lose you again. It happened once and it nearly killed me, I won't be able to survive another fall like that. The loneliness is cold and-and empty, but it's easier to stay there than to climb out only to slip and fall back in."

He stood in silence for a moment, taking in everything she had told him. It was not what he expected to hear. But then again, what had he expected? A hug and kiss and 'I love you?' It took a second for his brain to form the words he wanted to say next.

"I get that you're scared. I'm scared, too. I'm afraid that you'll be taken away. Of not being able to see you or hear your voice whenever I want. Of knowing you're alone and unhappy, but not be able to be there for you. That's why I'm doing this; all of it. Because I-"

He stopped just before the words came out. He was mentally kicking himself. He hadn't said that on top of all his fears were the exact same ones she'd said. Which was why he couldn't seem to say the last two words out loud. He was afraid of that fall. But would it be any better to wonder years later what could have happened if he had taken the leap?

"Because..."he began again, swallowing his fears. "Because I love you."

Jason stood waiting for her to say something. Anything. The second seemed to stretch for an eternity. He'd beared it all, and was hoping for the best.

"Don't." she whispered.

"What?"

"Don't...don't love me." she spoke fighting back tears.

"I can't help it. You told me once that you can't help who you love. It's true. I know you're scared-"

"Jason," she began." What do you remember about that night? I don't mean what happened at Carly's, I'm talking about after that. What do you remember?"

"I was angry, I said some things I didn't mean."

"You never say anything unless you mean it. It's one of my favorite things about you." she said with a slight smile.

"I was mad an-and hurt. I was just saying those things because of that. Yeah, a small part of me meant it, but _every_ part regrets it." he explained, he himself wasn't sure what had possessed him that night; other than anger.

"Want to know what I remember?" she asked getting a nod from him. " I remember your eyes when you looked at me. I remember every word you said. The time on the clock when I realized that it was over; my life was over. Every second is carved into my memory. The look in your eyes, on your face, the sound of your voice, it'll stay with me forever. I can't try to start again if I can't get over the anger and pain I saw I put I you that day."

"You think spending life in prison for a crime you didn't commit is going to help either of us at all?"

"Jason-"

"We're both afraid; of being hurt and hurting each other. But the love is still there and I don't know about you, but in me it's stronger than the fear."

"God Jason, I do love you." she admitted. "But you're right, I'm scared. You never hurt more than you do when you're in love."

"You're never happier either." he placed his hand on her soft cheek. She leaned into it briefly before turning away.

"Jason, about Ric-"

"Don't, ok? Don't think about him or anything else. The past is gone and the future isn't here yet. Port Charles is a planet away right now. Don't worry about the yesterday's and tomorrow's. Just be here. Now. With me." he reached out and wiped away the tears that escaped.

"I love you. I love you so much, and I'm so scared of tomorrow. Jason, I don't want tomorrow to come."

He came closer to her, destroying the space left between them. He couldn't believe he'd let her out of his sight for an instant. He placed his finger under her chin and tilted her head up. As always, when her eyes caught his the world disappeared.

"It doesn't exist." he whispered before softly placing his lips on hers.

If it were possible, he thought her lips had gotten sweeter since he'd last tasted them, it seemed like a lifetime ago. The feeling was incredible, it was like he was being reunited with a missing part of himself. The kiss grew more passionate as the two melted into the other's touch. It didn't take long before they were both well beyond the point of no return.

As if taking the kiss as a cue, the clouds above ripped open. The rain poured down on the island like a sign from above, in a symbol only they would understand.

* * *

**A/N: ** this one was mostly dialogue, I hope that's cool. 


	16. Technicolor Dreams

**A/N:** it's funny that the jaspam fans keep coming to journey sites to bash and tell us how hopeless we are and should just give up cuz jaspam is forever, because if they were _that _confident that they were going to stay strong they wouldn't waste their time telling us to give up hope and support. u ask me...some people are getting kinda scared...raises eyebrow

**Ch. 16 Technicolor Dreams**

She woke up feeling safe and warm, in his arms. The sun shone in through the window telling her the storm had passed. She knew, however, that the sun never stayed out for long before the storms would come back. His hold on her tightened and he brought her closer to his body.

"Morning beautiful." she heard him say.

"Good morning."

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"Perfect. What about you, any regrets?" he shook his head in response.

"Never felt better." he answered as she took his hands and entwined her fingers with his.

"What happens now?"

"It doesn't matter. We're together, we can face whatever comes at us."

His words were true. She felt that they could get through it all now that they had found each other again. But they couldn't do that if she wasn't honest with him. She had to tell him. He deserved to know.

"Jason, I need to tell you what happened. Everything." she said sitting up in the bed, at her words he sat up as well.

"You can tell me anything, you know that." he said rubbing his hand up and down her back.

"I know, it's just that I've been alone and -"

"You're not alone. I'm here, no matter what you tell me I'll still be here. I love you."

She took a deep breath and prepared to tell him everything when something caught her attention.

"Yes Courtney tell him." the voice said. She knew that voice, but it couldn't be. She knew he wasn't there. "What are you waiting for?"

She looked past Jason and saw him standing there.

"I'll be right back." she told him.

"Courtney-" she cut him off, pressing her lips against his.

"I just need a second, then I'll tell you everything I promise."

She walked out of the room and downstairs. She poured and drank a tall glass of water and took a few deep breaths. Convincing herself it was just the last bits of sleep wearing off, she turned to go back to Jason. She let out a gasp and halted her steps, once again coming face to face with the dead man.

"Why didn't you tell him?" he asked. "Come on, you heard that sickening declaration he made up there. Tell him."

"I will, I-I am. Right now." she said to the image that appeared to look worse and worse each time she saw it.

"What do you think he'll do?" he asked her. "Think he'll ever look at you the same?"

"Jason loves me." she said defensively.

"Sure, now."

"No, he'll love me, even when I tell him."

"If you thought that why didn't you tell him? Why did you run away like that?" he asked her. "Because you know I'm right."

"Just shut up!" she demanded. "I'm not listening to you. You're not real."

"Not real?" he repeated laughing and looked down at the floor. Suddenly, he grabbed her wrists and shoved her back against the wall. "Does this feel real to you?"

She jumped up, shaking and covered in sweat.

"Hey, what's wrong?" his voice asked as he sat up and put his arms on her shoulders.

"Just a dream." she said more to herself than to him. "It was just a bad dream."

They laid back down on the sheets and she wrapped her arms around his midsection while laying her head on his broad chest.

"It's ok. We're together now, we can face whatever comes at us." She felt a chill travel down her spine hearing the same words from her dream.

"I just want to lay here with you and pretend everything is perfect." she said.

"Right now it is."

* * *

The small electronic device rang and the woman quickly answered it, eager for the news she was waiting for.

"Tell me something good." she answered. "You sure it's them? Great, where? Perfect, make sure they stay there."

She ended the call and dialed another number, speaking aloud to herself as it rang.

"Sonny wants to play rough, I'll play rough."

"Port Charles Police Department." the man on the other side of the phone answered.

"I'm calling in a tip I believe may be useful."

"What does this concern?" he asked in a monotone voice.

"Ric Lansing's murder." she said practically hearing the smile in her own voice.

"Would you like your name on record?"

"Just put me down as a concerned citizen."

A devious smile slid across her face. No one treated Faith Roscoe like trash and walked away untouched.


	17. Burning It Down

**Ch. 17 Burning It Down**

The penthouse was quiet. A strange thing for a place where two growing boys lived. But they were at Bobbie's, so the place was silent. Sonny did not like the silence; it gave his mind free reign. He would think and wonder about his life and everything in it. These days he thought of Carly. He thought of how much he loved and hated her. How much pain and pleasure they brought into each others lives. But at this particular moment, he thought of how he missed her. Sure she was living with him, but for all specifics, she couldn't be farther away.

"Sonny." he heard his name and was more than surprised to see her standing in front of him. "Where were you just now?"

"Thinking."

"About…?"

"Ric."

"Ric?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah; this situation, his murder, Courtney being charged, it's just got me thinking. It's like we've worked hard and fought against everything to build this family. We know that there are problems with it and we do our best to ignore it and move on. Then out of no where the foundation is knocked out and the building collapses." he explained.

"I know what you mean." she responded, sitting down next to him. "But as many nose dives as our family has taken, we've survived. Sure right now we're apart, but we're still standing."

"Barely." he informed. "Being a part of this 'family' destroys you. Once you've been touched by it, you're tainted for life. If you're lucky, you find something that makes you happy enough that you…that you forget."

"Are we talking about us now?" Carly asked, to which he shrugged his shoulders. "Our marriage-"

"Marriages." he corrected with a small grin on his face.

"Marriages, sorry." she said smiling. "Our marriages were disasters. A wave of horrible disasters that tore apart everyone involved."

"Yeah, yeah."

"But…"she added. "they were beautiful. A series of beautiful disasters that I wouldn't trade for anything, and I wouldn't change anything about it either."

"Even the hurt?" he asked, and she sighed.

"You told me that if we light a match, the whole house would burn down. I didn't listen, we took the chance and we lit the match. And you were right." she smiled. "But we've survived the fire, literally. As disastrous as it was, we survived it. If you ask me it was worth every second. It's made me the woman I am today."

"You're blaming me for that?" he teased.

"I'm serious." she chuckled. "It made me the strong, stubborn, not to mention genius of a woman you see now. The woman that's not afraid of anyone. The woman who knows that her sons have the best father anyone could ask for. The woman that loves you."

Sonny wasn't sure he'd heard her right. It had to have been a trick his mind was playing on him. But then again…

"You're saying you love me?" he asked to be sure he hadn't made it up.

"Sonny, you're the father of my children. I'll always love you." she admitted.

"But we don't work?"

"I guess we've proven that a few times over." she replied. "But like I said, I don't regret any of it."

"I do." he stated.

She stared at him in disbelief. Apparently they had very different views on their relationship. Maybe he was helping her, she needed to shut the door on Sonny Corinthos and move on with her life. It was for the best. But it sure as hell didn't feel like it.

"You regret us?" she asked afraid of his response.

"I regret letting you go. Each time." he answered, and brushed a strand of dark hair away from her face. Her eyes held his chocolate gaze, neither able to look away. Slowly, the space between them disappeared and their lips met in a soft, tender kiss. After a moment, Carly pulled back slightly and rested her forehead against his.

"Sonny what are we doing?" she asked breathless.

"Lightning a match." she smiled at the answer and he showed her his gorgeous dimples in return.

Her lips quickly returned to his and she leaned back until she was laying on the couch with him hovering on top of her. The perfect moment was ruined when a quick knock sounded from the door.

"Mmm…ignore it." she begged. "If it's important they'll come back."

Just as the words left her mouth, another, louder knock came. Groaning, he reluctantly got up and went to the door. He opened it and felt his happiness dive into a deep pit at his visitor.

"Hi." she greeted. Unable to respond, Carly appeared at his side.

"Sonny who is-" she halted and felt her anger rise. "You."

"I need to talk to Sonny." she began. "It's important."

"Sorry we're busy, you'll have to tramp up our doorway some other time." Carly spit. She grabbed the door and began to shut it.

"But-"

"Bye." she said cutting off the woman. Before the door could close, she shouted loud enough for anyone in the building to hear.

"I'm pregnant!"


	18. Tangled

A/N: to readers of SPRIAL, i know i'm a loser who hasn't updated in a while, but i cross my fingers that i will tomorrow...cool? alright then... 

**Ch. 18 Tangled**

"Hey." he greeted coming up behind her in the kitchen. He placed his lips against her smooth neck. "How are you doing?"

"Better." she answered.

"Yeah?" he asked snaking his arms around her waist.

"Yeah." she smiled, turning around to look at his gorgeous face. "Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"It's raining." she said, her smile growing wider.

"It has been for a while." he answered pressing her hand to his lips.

He looked into her eyes, and was happy to see that some of the old sparkle was beginning to show. The sparkle belonged there. Those eyes were too beautiful to ever look as empty as they had been. As long as they'd been together, she could always make his worries disappear with just a look, or a smile, or a touch. Now he wanted to do the same for her. A smile came to his face as an idea did to his mind.

"Come with me." he said.

"What?"

"Come with me. Come on." he grabbed her hand and began to guide her through the house. She couldn't help but smile at his behavior as he brought her to the front door.

"Are you ready?" he asked after lifting her into his arms.

"Ready for what?" she asked ammused.

Without a word, he opened the door and took both of them out of the house. She squealed when the shower first came over them. He took a few steps away from the house and finally put her back down and smiled as the warm drops poured down. His heart fluttered at the sound of her laughter. Placing his hands on the sides of her face he leaned in. Their lips met as a streak of lightning lit up the sky.

"You know what this is?" he shouted over the storm.

"You're crazy!" she shouted back, laughing. "Tell me."

"This is us. Our beginning. We've come full circle now and this is our new start. Our second chance." he explained. "Since last night I've been asking myself, "What happens now? Where do we go?' This is my answer. This is where I want to go. The beginning; back to that kiss in the rain. This time we'll do it right, I'll do it right. But I'm asking you, will you go there with me?"

"Of course!" she shouted happily, his confession being more than she could have ever expected. "I love you, Jason Morgan."

"I love you, Courtney Morgan."

* * *

Carly opened the door slowly, hoping it hadn't actually happened. That nothing and no one would be there. But there she stood, right before her eyes. The woman took the opening and walked by her, into the penthouse. Carly looked to Sonny, whose face held the same look she was sure hers did.

"What-What did you say?" she stammered in disbelief.

"I'm pregnant." she said again.

"Are you sure?" Sonny asked.

"I took three different tests, they all said the same thing. Yes, I'm sure."

"Is it-" he cleared his throat, afraid to ask the question. "Is it mine?"

"That's great." she laughed bitterly at him. "Next time just come out and call me a tramp."

"Answer the question, Sam." Carly ordered. "Is the baby Sonny's?"

"It might be, ok? Are you happy? I don't know if it's yours or not. But I figured you deserve to know there's a fifty percent chance it's yours."

"Who else?" he asked.

"Why does that matter?"

"Sam!"

"Alright, it's Jax. The night of the fire, I slept with you and Jax."

"Jax." he repeated with a scoff. Jax, of all people. "Does he know?"

"I haven't told him yet." she said lowering her head.

"Of course not." Carly spat. "You haven't told him beacuse you don't want him to be the father. You want it to be Sonny's. This was probably you're plan all along!"

"No it wasn't. I-"

"Everyone knows you're in love with Sonny. You'd do anything to keep him, including get pregnant."

"I didn't plan this!" she shouted. "Sonny you have to believe me. I didn't do this on purpose."

"I think you should leave." he said doing his best to keep calm.

"What about-"

"I'll arrange a paternity test." he said trapping her gaze with his. "Go."

Sam saw the fire in his eyes when he gave her the order. Sighing in defeat, she turned and left. Her next stop; Jax.

He stood in the silence. The remarkable feeling that was floating in the air had dropped fast in the few moments it took their visitor to say two words. As long as he can remember, never before had he ever felt so close to perfect. Now, Carly wasn't even looking at him. She started to walk towards the stairs and he knew he couldn't be left like this.

"Carly." he called after her, getting her attention. She stopped and looked at him briefly before continuing.

It was only for a second, but in that second Sonny saw a fury of emotions flash through her eyes. Anger. Fear. Sadness. Hurt. Betrayal.

"Say something, please."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything."

"Sonny, not tonight. I know we'll have to do this but please..."she paused, hearing her own voice begin to crack. She took a deep breath. "...not tonight."

Sonny only nodded and looked the two feet that stood frozen to the floor. Listening to her fading footsteps as she climbed the staircase. So close.


	19. Hard To Say

LOOK OUT! IT'S AN UPDATE! AHHHHHH! wait don't run...it's not that bad...sorry for being AWOL forever on the update front. things have been crazy but i'm back now, rejoice later, read and review now...yay!

**Ch. 19 Hard To Say**

Carly laid on the bed, cluthcing the soft pillow tights against her aching heart. It happened again. She'd given her heart and soul to him completely and once again she was left with tears rolling down her face. What else did she expect? She said herself that each attempt at their relationship was a disaster. So why did she even try? Simple, because she loved him. God forgiver her, she loved him with everything she was. But for now, she couldn't stand to look at him.

_The singer finished singing and she's walking on_

_The singer sheds a tear, her fear of falling out_

_And it's hard to say how I feel today_

_For years gone by, and I cried_

He held the photograph in his hand. Envying the figures in it. For they were blessed with the ability to remain happy forever. Pictures don't feel pain or betrayal or loss. They were just a perfect second in time, and they got to remain in that perfection for eternity. The picture; him, her and their beautiful sons. It felt so far away, and yet so close. He knew what would happen if the baby was his. She would leave. She would take their boys and leave; for good. He would be empty again. He couldn't go back to that.

_It's hard to say that i was wrong_

_It's hard to say I miss you _

_Since you've been gone, it's not that same_

He climbed the stairs, slowly and quietly, until he was outside the door to the bedroom. The bedroom that used to be their bedroom. He lifted his fist to knock, but found himself just allowing it to hover in the air. Sonny fought himself, but found he was unable to knock. He pumped his fists up and down, not knowing what to do, before finally placing it on the doorknob. Silently, he pushed the door open a crack. The crack was all it took for the heartwrenching sound of her sobs to reach his earss. With his heart breaking, he closed the door.

_My worries weigh the world how I used to be_

_And everything, I'm cold, seems a plague in me_

_And it's hard to say how I feel today_

_For years gone by, and I cried_

She laid in his arms, feeling the love emitting from them. It felt great to be back in those arms. Courtney never imagined it would, much less could, happen again. Now that it was happening, she knew it was too good to last. Like something was just waiting around the corner to ambush the peace and happiness. Because it was.

_It's hard to say that I was wrong_

_It's hard to say I miss you _

_Since you've been gone it's not the same. _

_It's hard to say I held my tongue_

_It's hard to say if only_

_Since you've been gone it's not the same_

Careful not to wake him, Courtney moved his arm and slipped out of bed. She looked at him briefly as he slept. She always thought that people looked innocent when they slept. The most viscious person could look completely pure when they dreamt. She walked to the window, taking it in for the millionth time. The rain had stopped, but she knew that the real storm was waiting. It was killing her, keeping everything to herself. Especially from Jason.

_Worse than I fear , it's the lie you've told a thousand times before_

_Worse than I fear , it's the knife_

_But it's hard to say how I feel today_

_For year's gone by, and I cried_

He could tell she was gone. The bed immediately lost all warmth. Jason opened his eyes and found her immediately, right where he's suspected. Another trait she shared with her brother, always looking out a window when in thought. No doubt about what was bothering her; Ric. Even dead he was still hurting his family. Jason couldn't help but think that maybe if he'd kept a cooler head that night; if he'd let her explain instead of turning to those damned papers, maybe none of this would have happened. It was too late now to think about that. Shaking his head, he saw her turn back to him. Jason said nothing, but pulled down the covers for her. She climbed back in and he wrapped his arms tight around her. Never wanting to let go.

_It's hard to say that I was wrong_

_It's hard to say I miss you _

_Since you've been gone it's not the same_

_It's hard to say I held my tongue_

_It's hard to say if only_

_Since you've been gone it's not the same_

_It's hard to say, God it's hard to say_

_Why is it hard to say?_

_Since you've been gone, I'm not the same_

_Song Credits: The Used, "Hard To Say" _


	20. Whispers

**A/N: **greatest apolgies for not updating in what seems like years! but i hope that multiple updates at once will help me redeem myself? let me know!**  
**

**Ch. 20 Whispers**

Jason remained laying in bed, though the sun had been up for some time. He didn't want to move, for fear it would wake her. He felt completely content listening to her rythmic breathing while she lay in his arms. Moments like this were few and far between. She moved around a bit and settled down again, snuggling as close to him as possible. He kissed the top of her head, a gesture to tell her he was there. Jason knew there was nothing else he could do for her while she slept. In her dreams she, like everyone, had to fight her demons alone. But he would sure as hell do all he could for her when she was awake.

_"Well, what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked with a sly grin, as he leaned against the door frame._

_"It's all your fault." she told him, pushing past him and into the apartment._

_"What's all my fault? Did I miss something?"he asked._

_"You know damn well what I'm talking about." she spat, wavering slightly._

_"Courtney, Courtney, have you been drinking?" he teased. "You must really be your father's daughter, huh?"_

_"That's none of your business." she replied. "Everything's your fault. You ruined everything!"_

_"Oh, is this about Jason? Sorry to hear about your marriage, heartbreaking stuff, really it is." he said sarcastically._

_"Don't pretend you know a thing about my marriage!" she spoke angrily._

_"You don't have a marriage. Not anymore anyway, you made sure of that from what I hear." he replied. "Don't blame me for that. What is this now, number two, right? So, who's next in the Quartermaine family tree you plan to wed?"_

_"Just shut up! If you hadn't kidnapped Carly..."she began and trailed off. "It all comes back to you. You don't deserve to breathe."_

Courtney woke with a start in the empty bed. She felt the cool sheets next to her and realized that he must have gotten up a while ago. She was glad, no doubt she'd been tossing through the dream. Not dream, not even nightmare, a memory. It was like she was there, living through all of it all over again.

The man heard the shower turn on upstairs and knew she was up. He did a time check, it was nearly noon. Jason had gladly let her sleep. In the mean time, he'd made some calls and apparently the police were still clueless as to their whereabouts. Everything was quiet. But Jason had a feeling they wouldn't stay that way for much longer. When Jason Morgan had a bad feeling, he didn't ignore it.

Sonny stared at the phone in his hands. He'd been trying to work up his nerve and call the hospital. He said he would arrange for the test, and he meant to. But he knew if the had the test done, they would get the answer. The answer he was afraid of. It wasn't that he wouldn't love the baby if it was his, but he always thought if he had another child it would be with Carly. An addition to their already beautiful family. But if he was the father of a child made in a meaningless fling, he would lose the only thing that had ever mattered to him. 

Carly had gone out at just about the break of dawn. It was all that Max could do to catch up to her before she could get too far on her own. As much as the answer scared him, not knowing was killing them both. Running his hand down his face, he let out a long sigh. With shaking fingers, he dialed.

"I, uh, I need to schedule a paternity test."

She grabbed her purse and stomped out of the building. Another day had gone by, and that murdering witch still wasn't in jail. Her shift at Kelly's hadn't given her the opportunity she thought she'd get. The one person she knew could help her hadn't come in for his usual. Angrily, she stormed along the walk, thoughts floating around in her head in clouds of anger and vengeance.

"Elizabeth?" his voice broke into her thoughts. "Are you ok?"

"Better now. I've been looking for you." she admitted.

"Really? What can I do for you?" Lucky asked, grinning at one of his oldest friends.

"I need to know what you guyz are doing to find Courtney."

"Oh," he could almost feel the sparkle in his eyes fade away. "Elizabeth you know I can't tell you that."

"I know it's police business, but I have to know." she pleaded.

"Liz, I know how important Ric was to you. But-"

"Please, as my friend, Lucky this is driving me insane. I need to know something's being done."

The man ran his hand through his shoulder length hair and sighed. He looked at his best friend and first love. She was begging him to give her somethihg. In their entire friendship he'd never been able to deny her for long.

"Alright," he said, leading her to a corner and whispered. "Don't tell this to anyone. There was a tip."

"A tip? What kind of tip?"

"They're on an island, ok? There's a group of officers heading that way now."

"That's great!" she said, raising her voice.

"Shh, don't say anything. A lot of cops don't even know. Baldwin doesn't want word to get to Sonny and him warning them." he told her.

"I understand. I won't tell anyone that you told me." she said, happily. "Thank you."

Lucky watched her walk away. At one time he thought they'd spend their lives together. But that was a Jason Morgan and a Ric Lansing aog. He knew she cared deeply for the dead man, and like most people she wanted his murderer brought to justice. Also like most people, she believed that person was Courtney.That was where Lucky got skeptical. He just couldn't wrap his mind around the possibility that she would actually kill someone. But it didn't matter what he thought. He was a cop, and he followed the evidence. And all that evidence pointed to Courtney.


	21. So Long Sweet Summer

**Ch 21. So Long Sweet Summer**

"We need to talk." she began, sitting next to him on the sofa. He opened his mouth to speak and she put her hand up to stop him. "More specifically, I need to talk."

Jason nodded and he took her hand in his, showing that he was there for her and supported her. He inhaled deeply, realizing that this was it. She wanted to tell him what happened. Not just wanted; she needed to. He could see it in her eyes, she needed to because it was killing her from the inside out.

They sat on the couch and he could tell she was preparing herself. He had every confidence that she would tell him everything and, even though sooner was better than later, he would not push her to do so.

"After...after the penthouse, and you signing the divorce papers, I went to Jake's and I had a few drinks." she admitted, shamefully. " For a while it worked, I forgot about all the bad things. I liked that feeling. So I went back the next day, and the next, and the next."

"You were hurting." he tried to soothe, seeing how disgusted with herself she was.

"I kept going back, I kept going back to when we were happy. Every night, I went back to where our family was happy and together. " she held back the tears as they fought to escape. "One night, I was sitting there, staring at this crowd of empty glasses in front of me, and it happened. I was trying to figure out when that happiness went away. The exact moment when everything changed, when our family started the path to its downfall. And it came to me; our wedding day. What was supposed to be our wedding day, at the church, Carly getting kidnapped. I knew it was his fault."

_Flashback_

_"Ric." she mumbled, her elbows leaning on the counter and staring at the many glasses she had already polished off._

_"What's that sweetheart?" the long haired bartender asked her._

_"Ric." she said louder._

_"Lansing?" he asked. "What about him? He can't be the reason I've seen you in here every night."_

_"It's his fault. This is all because of him. Him...the wedding...Carly...Alcazar...South America," she spoke, tracing the events and connecting the dots of her pathetic life in her mind._

_"Easy darlin', you're not makin any sense. Not even sentences." Coleman informed, but she either didn't hear him or just ignored him as she kept going._

_"The yacht...the baby...my baby...my baby...our baby..." he heard her voice breaking and saw the tears barely hanging onto her eyes. "...our baby."_

_"Ok," I think you've had enough." honestly, he'd thought she'd had enough hours ago. But he enjoyed having her around him. He rarely saw her anymore. But now he knew she was way past the edge._

_"You're right. I've had enough." she said in a low tone, resembling a growl._

_Coleman knew that tone. He had heard it before. In her brother. The last time he'd heard that was when Corinthos last threatened his life. It scared him to hear her using it, maybe she was more like Corinthos than everyone thought._

_"And I know just what to do about it." she said._

_Courtney stood up from the stool and wobbled as she tried to find her footing. The older man reached out and grabbed her to steady her._

_"Whoa." he said. "I don't think you should be going anywhere. Listen, There's an available room upstairs, why don't you go sleep it off?"_

_"No." she shouted, shaking his hands off her. "Don't touch me."_

_"Alright, alright. No touching." he said, holding his hands in the air for her to see. "How's about I call you a cab to get you where you're going?"_

_"I know where I need to go and how to get there." she said, storming away from him and out of the dingy bar."_

_End_

Courtney halted her story as the high pitched sound of the ringing phone cut into the air. She looked at Jason, expecting him to get up and answer it. To her surprise he hadn't moved. He just sat there, watching her, holding her hand. Finally, the ringing stopped, the call going unanswered.

"Why didn't you answer it?" she asked in a whisper.

"Nothing's more important than this." he said honestly, running his fingers through her hair. He leaned in to press his lips to hers when the phone went off again. He sighed at the annoyance of the device. "I'll tell them to call back."

He picked up the phone and flipped it open.

"Morgan." he answered as usual. "Sonny can't talk right now. Look, it's important I'll call you-What? How long ago? Damn it. Alright, I'll take care of it."

Hanging up, he turned to Courtney. She knew from only his side of the conversation that something was really up.

"What is it?" she asked, fearfully.

"Sonny got a call, from a man on the inside. They know where we are, they're on their way. Probably already here." he explained quickly. "We need to go."

"Jason-"

"Courtney, we can't afford to have this fight again. Yell at me later, but I'm getting you off this island." he said, panicking.

"Jason I can't let you do that." she said pulling away from him as he pulled her towards the door.

"Why the hell not?" he shouted, losing his cool.

"Because." she shouted back.

"Because why? You can't just say that and expect me to accept it! I need to know why you refuse to help yourself!" he hollered, his fear for her overtaking his control over his emotions.

"BECAUSE I SHOT RIC!" she yelled.

At that moment, the worst possible moment, the door behind Jason flew open and he saw District Attorney Scott Baldwin. A sick smile on his face as he and the officers crossed the threshold into the house.

"Well..." he began. "that sounds like a confession to me."


	22. The Beautiful Letdown

**Ch. 22 A Beautiful Letdown**

"BECAUSE I SHOT RIC!" she yelled.

At that moment, the worst possible moment, the door behind Jason flew open and he saw District Attorney Scott Baldwin. A sick smile on his face as he and the officers crossed the threshold into the house.

"Well..." he began. "that sounds like a confession to me."

"What..." Jason started to say, but for the moment, he couldn't process everything that was going on. Scott noticed his bewilderment and grinned.

"Oh, careful, don't hurt yourself Morgan." he teased. "We got a warrant for blondie's arrest."

Words returned to Jason and he quickly felt himself fall back into the familiar position of protector. He placed himself before Courtney so they would have to go through him to get her. From the looks on the officers' faces, they didn't look too happy about angering him. Good, he could use that to his advantage if he had to.

"Get out." he said dangerously. Scott only laughed, and leaned to the men at his back.

"Get to it. Do your job guys." The officers approached Jason and he tried to quickly come up with a plan of escape.

"Jason Morgan, you are under arrest for aiding and-"

"Oh,little detail I guess I forgot to mention." Scott interrupted. He pulled out a folded paper from his jacket and waved it in the air happily. "Got one for you too. Do you really need to hear the same old. same old? You know your rights by now, right?"

Soon after, Jason was fighting the off as they attempted to arrest him. For what? For helping the woman he loved. Though they outnumbered him, he was able to hold them off without too much effort. He glanced over and saw Scott himself in the process of handcuffing Courtney.

The distraction was enough to give the police the an advantage.Without realizing how it happened, Jason was facedown on the floor with a knee in his back. He didn't notice the harsh way they pulled his arms back and slapped on the metal bracelets.

"Leave her alone!" he shouted at Scott, ignoring his own situation. "Get away from her!"

Scott ignored him, and roughly pulled her arms behind her and securing them.

"Baldwin, I swear-"

"Jason," she said softly, but still getting his attention. "Just...let this happen."

"Listen to the girl, Morgan. There's nothing you can do." Scott laughed and began walking out of the room. "Let's move, back to good ol' Port Charles for you."

She sat where she was told on the plane, and watched him sit down across from her. Courtney could have thrown up at the look of sheer delight on his face.

"Comfy?" he asked, sarcastically.

She didn't respond, she just sat there. He asked her more questions, but she didn't listen to any of them. She was waiting, expecting Jason to be brought on the plane any moment.

"Morgan's not going to be joining us." he informed, finally getting her attention. "Oh, he's here. But you won't see him. It's just you and me all the way back home."

"Jason didn't do anything." she said.

"Aiding a wanted criminal is a crime." he replied. "I could put your ex away for this. How beautiful would that be? You in one prison, Morgan in another. We'll see how long the Corinthos empire stands once Sonny sees his sister and right hand are rotting behind bars."

"Leave Jason alone." she responded to his scenario.

"I could do that. I could make a sweet deal for both you and lover boy." he offered. "Let's talk about what I would get in return."

It was done. The appointment was scheduled. Tomorrow; 12:30. It was the earliest he could get. A little less then twenty four hours, and the fate of his family would be decided. Sonny wasn't sure if he could stop himself from going crazy before then. The phone rang, and he jumped to it, hoping it was something good. Maybe Sam had realized the time frame was off. That it wasn't possible for him to be the father.

"Hello?"he answered, hearing the anxiousness in his own voice. "Where are you, did you get away? What?"


	23. To Hell We Ride

**Ch. 23 To Hell We Ride**

He sat restlessly at the table in the small room. He was trying desperately to keep his cool and not scream and throw whatever he saw. Every so often he tugged at the metal circles linking his wrists together. Finally, the door to the interrogation room he'd seen so many times opened as his lawyer and cousin walked in. He looked expectantly at the man that got him out of so many jams.

"Did you see Courtney?" he asked, wondering where she was. Justus nodded at his question. "Where is she?"

"The bail was revoked; they don't trust that she won't try to flee the country again." he informed.

"She didn't flee the country, I made her leave. She didn't want to." Jason explained.

"Nonetheless, she's to stay in custody until the trial."

Jason put his head in his hands; that's what he was afraid of. If they'd only reconciled a few days before than maybe this wouldn't have happened. If Sonny had called a few seconds sooner. If he'd pushed her harder to leave. If he had killed Ric when he had the chance. Too many 'ifs'. Now she was in a cell for God knows how long.

"How soon will that be?"

"I don't know yet. But you let me worry about that, you need to worry about yourself and the situation you're in right now." Justus instructed before leaving the room, ready to fight another battle in hopes of getting Jason Morgan out of police hands once more.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed. It felt like days since they landed, and years since she'd last seen Jason. She could only hope that he wasn't in too much trouble. Courtney knew that Baldwin was looking for any chance to put him away. On top of his already obsessive vendetta against her family, Scott was now angry at her for not taking his deal and handing him Sonny. He would be sure to come down on both of them as hard as possible for rejecting the deal. Even though their last meeting hadn't been one of sibling bonding and understanding, she wasn't going to throw him to the wolves. The small cell would be more than enough to trigger one of his attacks.

"Blondie," one of the guards roughly called to her. She wished she could shout at him that she had a name and it sure as hell wasn't Blondie, but instead Courtney just looked in his direction. "Visitor. Keep it quick."

She looked, waiting to see who it was, hoping that it was Jason. All she wanted to do was be back on the island in his arms. To look into his eyes and see that the love was still there. After a few seconds of hearing footsteps, she was finally able to see who they belonged to.

"What are you doing here?"

The officer silently removed the cuffs and Jason happily pulled his hands away. Once again, Justus had saved him from a prison stay. But right now, he could care less about the way the PCPD treated him or wanted to do with him. All he wanted was to see Courtney.

"Just because Ward was able to save you butt again, doesn't mean he'll do the same for your girlfriend." Scott growled, unhappy that Jason was out of his hands again.

"I want to see Courtney."

"Too bad." he spat.

"You can't-"

"I'm the D.A. " he interrupted. "Don't tell me what I can't do. Even if I had the brain tumor it would take to do what you say, your honey already has a visitor."

Jason watched him walk away and fought the overwhelming urge to get his gun and shoot the man. Then his thoughts went to what he said. She already had a visitor. Who?

"What are you doing here?"

"Jason called me." the man told her.

"Is he all right? I didn't get to see him. I don't want him to be in trouble because of me."

"Jason's fine, don't worry about him." her brother said. "What about you?"

"I didn't take Scott's deal." she answered.

"Deal?"

"He offered to go easy on me if I told him everything I knew about you. And I told him no." she explained, then chuckled dryly. "He didn't like that too much, said I'd get what I had coming and he'd make sure it hit me hard."

"Why? Why didn't you take the deal?" he asked.

"Come on Sonny. I would do that to you. I mean, we're fam-" she stopped herself, remembering one of their conversations. He'd told her she was nothing to him, and she's agreed later at the police station. She looked down and continued, coming up with something else to say. "It's just…I-I know what this place would do to you."

Sonny noticed she had stopped before telling him they were family. That was his fault; he knew it. He cleared his throat.

"Listen, I know-" he began.

"Alright, that's enough." a voice hollered. Sonny turned to Baldwin angrily, ready to kill him for interrupting.

"We're not finished here." he announced.

"Sorry." The man said, feigning sympathy to him. Sonny gave his sister an apologetic look, trying to say that they would continue their conversation later. She watched him until he was no longer within her view.

"That was barely a minute." Courtney argued to the man still standing there.

"I'm sorry, it's just that we tend to come down strict when it comes to cop killers."

He smiled and she heard his retreating footsteps accompanied by the sound of him whistling happily as he walked away.


	24. Inside Your Head

**Ch. 24 Inside Your Head**

"Hey," he greeted softly, grabbing her attention as it was clear she hadn't heard him arrive.

"Hi." she returned, and rose to her feet. "I was worried about you; I didn't see you."

"You shouldn't worry about me."

"Better be careful; you sound like Sonny." she joked, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

"I'll get you out of here." he stated.

"Jason, I-" she paused as he motioned for her lower her voice, as if he already knew what she was going to say to him. She did as he asked and stepped closer so he could still hear. " I did this."

Jason sighed and ran his hand down his face. That was the hardest thing of them all for him to register; that Courtney actually shot Ric. He didn't believe for a second that she would ever or could ever premeditate and carry out a murder. She hadn't told him the whole story.

"What else happened there?" he asked. " I know that you haven't told me everything."

"It doesn't-It doesn't matter, Jason." she said turning away from him, and leaning her back against the bars. "All that matters is…is Ric's dead."

Jason did not know what to do. Once again he was back to thinking about how much the dead man was still hurting the people he loved. She wasn't even looking at him, but he didn't have to see her face to know that the pain was etched into it's features. He reached his arm through an opening and placed it on her shoulder. He squeezed it gently, doing all he could to let her know he was there for her. Courtney's slender hand traveled up to the same shoulder and laid atop his hand. She let out a shaky breath before she spoke again.

"How did we get here?" she asked him, as if reading his thoughts.

"I…" he started, wishing he had an answer. God, how he wished he had the answer. But he didn't, and the word fell away into the silence as if it had never been said.

"We had everything." she stated. "Well, almost everything."

Jason inhaled a deep breath. He knew what she meant. He was almost afraid to remain in the room; to hear her rip open the wound and mercilessly blame herself. It wouldn't help her present situation or state of mind to think about that.

"Courtney-"

"I think about her, you know. All the time." she turned around and met his eyes. "Do you, Jason? Do you think about her at all?"

"Everyday." he answered in a whisper, ignoring the stinging sensation of fresh tears as they fought to escape.

"What would she think of me now? What-What would our little girl think of her mother?" she asked him, her lip shaking slightly as the emotions began to overwhelm her.

She rested her forehead against the cool metal, causing the center of Jason's chest to be all that was visible to her. Courtney closed her eyes and let the simplicity of his scent come over her. With them closed, she could almost imagine being in his arms. Arms that could wrap around her and shield out the world. And God knew if she would ever be in those arms again. Now that she had turned down his offer, Baldwin was sure to do everything he could to get the maximum punishment for her. With the thought in mind, she pulled back from the bars and out of Jason's reach.

"You should get home." she said wiping the few tears that managed to fall away. He opened his mouth and she knew he was about to protest. "I'm not going anywhere tonight, and I'll feel better if I know one of us is comfortable."

"I won't be comfortable; I could never be comfortable. Not without you near me." he admitted.

"Go home, please." she said. He stood still and she could see that the situation was truly hurting him. But he wouldn't leave her behind. He had always told her that he would never left her behind again, not after what happened in South America. He never left her behind . "Jason, please leave. Don't make me call the guard, please."

"I'll be back tomorrow, "he consented. " first thing."

She nodded and watched him back away. His eyes never leaving hers, he continued to step further away from her until he had no choice but to turn around. She sat down on the small mattress supplied and let out a long sigh as she put her head in her hands. Sniffling a tear, she lifted her head and looked up towards the ceiling.

Not at the ceiling exactly, but beyond it. Wondering if somewhere up there, her baby girl was watching her. Seeing the mother she was almost cursed with.


	25. Tear It Open

**Ch. 25 Tear It Open**

Jason woke with a gasp and found himself lying on the couch in his penthouse. So much for being comfortable. But that wasn't important, what was important was that it was morning. He promised he'd be back to see Courtney in the morning. Quickly as he could, Jason showered and dressed. He was nearly out the door when Carly seemed to appear out of no where.

"You saw Courtney didn't you?" she asked.

"Not now." he stated and tried to walk past her, but was unable to.

"How is she?" Jason sighed at the question. There were so many things to say in response, but for the moment only one word seemed to fit right.

"Hurting."

"What happened? While you were away, I mean." she asked.

"We…talked."

"Talked? Or declared your undying love for each other and admitted what a huge mistake splitting up was?" she questioned anxiously, unable to help the small smile. Though she knew it probably wasn't the most important piece of information she should care about at the time, Carly couldn't help it.

"That isn't the issue right now." he protested.

"Wrong, it's the most important one." she stated. "Jason, Justus told me that Courtney's been unwilling to help herself. She was basically putting the sentence on her own head. She saw no reason to save herself; convinced that no one cared. But, Jason, if she knows there's something to fight for; something as tremendous as love, she will fight to get to it. She would fight with everything she has."

"You're right." he said. "But she knows now that I still love her; that I'll do anything I can for her."

"And that's why you're going to get married as soon as possible." Carly blurted out.

Sonny walked across the wall, his mind was everywhere. His sister was arrested for his brother's murder, his wife was barely looking at him, and he had the paternity test that day. Only a few hours and his life would be decided. He shook his head slightly at the thought and opened the door to his friends home and immediately heard the heated argument taking place.

"…just a bad idea." Jason finished as Sonny walked in.

"But, Jase-"

"Whoa!" Sonny interrupted them. "What's going on? What's a bad idea?"

"Another one of Carly's places." Jason informed, and Sonny only sighed.

"What's this one about?" he asked.

"It's not a crazy plan!" she defended at Jason, ignoring her husband.

"Carly thinks me and Courtney should get married again." he informed, waiting for Sonny's disapproval.

"She's right."

"What?" Jason asked.

"Carly's right." he repeated, casting a glance at his wife, who looked away from his chocolate eyes.

"Sonny, you can't be serious about this."

"Just listen to me, hear me out. On the island, she told you things, yeah?" He asked and Jason nodded. "Things that could be used against her in a trial?"

Once again, the younger man nodded. He knew where was going with this. Jason would most likely be called to testify for and against her. Legally, as her husband, he was excused from the situation of incriminating her.

"I understand, Sonny." he said. "But I doubt she'll go for it. It's too soon."

"Try. Run it by her when you see her, explain the entire situation and reasoning."

Jason nodded, promising to do so. Not that he would mind being married to Courtney once again, in fact it was the one thing that he knew he absolutely wanted. But they had both been through a lot, and he knew that as much as she said she wanted to give them another shot, her wounds weren't healed. Not completely. It didn't seem fair to ask her to chance those pains again. But it wouldn't be like that, he promised himself and her that this time would be different. But were they ready to put his promise to the test?

Ready or not, it was the best option at the moment for him to help her.

She was up. She had been for all but maybe two hours of the night. When she heard the footsteps, she was sure it was Jason making good on his promise. But when Courtney looked, she saw the last person in the world she expected, much less wanted, to see.

"You."


	26. Devil Came To Me

**Ch. 26 Devil Came To Me**

"You."

"Me."

"What are you doing here?" she asked irritated.

"Well, as every other person in this town, I'm aware of your predicament. I'd like to offer you a way out." she offered. "For a price."

Courtney scoffed at the woman.

"A price?" she questioned somewhat amused. Whatever price she had in mind was probably something completely outrageous. "My soul?"

"You still have one?" she replied sarcastically. "I hear killers aren't born with those."

"Well, you would know." she replied, offering a fake smile along with the comment.

"Oh, ouch." she said, placing her hand over heart to feign offense. "Cut me deep there, Bunny Rabbit."

She walked closer to the bars and looked inside. Her eyes traveled over the small place, as if she was judging her living quarters.

"Nice place you've got here." she commented.

"I'm sure you've seen nicer ones, or at least you will soon enough."

"Watch yourself, Bunny." she chuckled. "Your 'holier than thou' act isn't going to fly anymore. If you haven't noticed, you're the one behind bars. For murder no less. Face it, you're no better than anyone else."

"I'm nothing like you." she growled.

"No?" she asked. "Let's think that through that theory."

Courtney did her best to tune her out, but she found it impossible. The woman was not only crazy, she was annoying beyond all reason. To the point where she was impossible to ignore. So, unfortunately, Courtney heard every word she said.

"You betrayed your family, shot someone, let them die, skipped the country." she listed. "No you're not me. I wouldn't have gotten caught."

"Just go." she ordered.

She didn't want to be compared to Faith. She didn't want to see her or hear her or even know her.

"I haven't made my offer." she informed. "You hurt my feelings."

" I don't want anything from you."

"Fine, I'll leave you to your cozy little place and go find some way to entertain myself."

She paused for a moment and reached in her purse and pulled out the firearm. Checking the ammunition, she smiled thinking of how neglectful the department was when it came to the safety of the people in custody. Especially one there for killing one of their 'finest.'

"I'll just pop by and see what your ex is up to tonight." she said and turned to walk away.

"Wait." Courtney said to halt her. The insinuation that she would go after Jason was enough to make her at least listen to the offer. "What do you want?"

"Simple, I can arrange for a scapegoat to take the fall. You'd be free and clear."

"And what would you get?" she asked.

"A job."

"A job?" she repeated confused.

"Not for me. The job would be for you." she explained. "You agree to work for me, you get out of here."

"I'd rather rot." she replied.

"As you wish." Faith said, then leaned in close and spoke softly. "I'll take care of Jason while your g-"

Faith didn't get to finish as she was interrupted by Courtney, who reached out with lighting speed and grabbed a handful of her bleached hair. She held it tight in her fist as she spoke.

"You stay the hell away from Jason, you hear me?" she threatened. "Or you'll be sorry."

"What are you going to do about it?" she asked, gritting her teeth at the burning she felt at the top of her skull where she felt her hair being ripped out.

Without a word in response, Courtney gave Faith her answer. In a quick movement, Courtney pulled harshly on her hair, sending her head smacking against the metal bar. She let go after the impact, allowing her to fall to the floor.

"Not smart, Bunny." she stated getting to her feet. "Guard!"

"What is it?" the man asked, not sounding too please to have been summoned.

"She attacked me." she accused, pointing one hand at the growing red mark on her forehead, and another at Courtney.

"Calm down, lady." he said.

"I demand something be done about this."

Jason walked into the station. He looked around for someone to take him to see Courtney. Everyone seemed to be busy with something. He thought about interrupting someone and demand their assistance, but something caught his eye. He saw Faith Roscoe talking with Scott Baldwin. Apparently finished, she walked away from him and in Jason's direction. She saw him standing there and stopped in front of him. He noticed the reddish area and wondered what happened to her.

"Better tell your girlfriend to control that temper of hers." she warned. "It's enough to believe she'd kill someone."


	27. Love To Let You Down

**A/N:** so a friend of mine who is a jaspam fan so we aren't friends between the hours of 2 and 3 pm or 9 and 10 pm...and we never watch the show together because its dangerous for her health told me that courtney's "let go of the past no matter how good it was" speech at the wedding was put in so G&P could tell and i quote "delusional journey fans like you ronnie" that it's over and to "get over it"

Easy rhonda...count to ten...she just doesn't know any better...

1...2...3- ah screw it! it's go time!

**Ch 27. Love To Let You Down**

"Whoa." Scott said, putting his hand against the man's chest to stop him. "Hold it there, Morgan."

Jason took a step back, mainly to keep Baldwin from touching him. It was hard enough to keep from decking the annoying man as it was without the added nuisance of physical contact. If it happened again, he would probably knock him to the ground without having a chance to stop himself.

"What is it now?" he asked, keeping the irritation out of his voice and under control.

"Sorry Loverboy, no more visitors for your little girlfriend today." he informed him with a smile on his face.

"What?" Jason asked surprised at the information.

"You heard me. Looks like she's got a temper quite worthy of a Corinthos." he said happily. "Doesn't seem to have the handle on it that big brother does, as little as that may be."

Jason ran his hand through his hair and listened to the vague explanation. The D.A. wasn't exactly telling him the details, but he got the gist of it; the only part that mattered. Courtney lost her temper. Then he remembered Faith and how it looked like she had been hit pretty hard, he just hadn't assumed it was Courtney who had done it. What was she doing seeing her? Better yet, what did she do that made her angry enough to lash out like that. He knew Courtney; she wouldn't fly off the handle at any little thing. Wondering what happened between the two women, Jason turned his head in the direction Faith went, but she was gone.

"Catching up, are we?" the man asked, knowing Jason had put the pieces together. "Don't worry Morgan, you'll get to see her. After she's had some time to cool off, of course."

"So," the blonde man began, meeting up with the two people in the waiting room. "here we are."

"Here we are." he repeated.

"You know, I truly hoped after Brenda, the two of us would never have another woman in common."

"Yeah." Sonny mumbled in agreement, as Sam shifted uncomfortably in the chair. He glance her way for a moment, wondering if she really had meant for this to happen. Sonny wasn't ignorant; he knew that, for her, their relationship was more than just sex. But he refused to face it. He didn't want to face anything at the time; all he wanted was something to make him forget about the hurt. About seeing his wife with his enemy.

It hadn't even worked like he planned. Every time he met Sam at the hotel, every time he touched her, every time he heard her; it was Carly. Maybe this was her way to try and make it more than simply sex. She tried to steal a glance in his direction, but immediately looked away once she met his eyes.

He looked up at the sound of footsteps, wishing it was the doctor so they could get it over with. But to his surprise, he saw the slender figure he so often dreamt about. The realization made him hop to his feet and walk over to meet his wife as she entered. They stood out of hearing range of the other people around.

"I didn't think you'd come." he said honestly.

"I didn't know if I should or not. You know, I thought that me coming here would only make things worse or more uncomfortable for everyone involved." she began, casting a sideways glance at the brunette she hated so strongly. "But then I snapped out of it and realized that our family's future depends on this. I have no excuse or right not to be here."

"That's good, that you came I mean."

" I'm not promising anything by being here. So, until we find out who the father of that baby is…just leave me be." Carly requested, hoping against everything under the stars and whatever else there was out there that she still had a husband by the end of the day.

"Well, I'm not just going to pretend that you're not here." he said.

"I'm not asking you to do pretend I'm invisible. All I'm asking is that you don't try to encourage me, or-or support me, or tell me that everything is going to be ok. Can you do that for me?"

"If that's what you want."

"Yeah, it is." she replied.

The dark haired man nodded and let her walk by him to take a seat and wait with them. Now he wanted, more than ever, for the day to hurry up and get over with. He was too afraid to wonder how it could get any worse.

"Sonny." the man turned at the sound of his name to see his enforcer approaching him.

"Jason, did you talk to Courtney?"

"No." he said, shaking his head and placing his hands on his hips. Sonny felt his anger rising, not exactly from Jason's news but from everything that was happening, and he tried his best to contain it.

"Why the hell not?"


	28. Falling From Forever

**A/N:** I don't know if i mentioned this before or not, but all the Carly i use in my fic will is written with the one and only Tamara Braun in mind. Nothing against Jennifer, she's not doing bad, it's just that Tams was a helluva Carly and i'm gonna miss her.

**Ch. 28 Falling From Forever**

The pair stood in the hall outside the room, waiting for the news the doctor would bring Jason knew that the last thing anyone needed was more tension, so he stood with Carly in the hall to make sure that she stayed away from Sam, Jax, and Sonny until the time came. He couldn't believe that so much was happening; it wasn't so long ago that everything felt perfect.

Him and Courtney were on the island. They'd talked to one another about their thoughts and fears and , most importantly, their feelings. They wanted to try again; try to let their love be enough to save the both of them. Now it seemed like things were only getting worse by the second.

"I'm doing the right thing, right?" the woman asked, breaking the silence they'd fallen into. "With the boys?"

"I think you're doing what you think you need to." he answered, simply.

Carly sighed, not getting the straight answer she wanted. This wasn't how she'd expected the aftermath of her and Sonny's reunion to go. Suddenly, she saw the person that controlled her family's future coming their way. Her heart began to pound hard enough she could barely hear anything else. The doctor nodded in her direction, acknowledging her, and opened the door to the room. Carly and Jason stood in the doorway as everyone braced themselves for the news.

"I've got the results."

"Fancy digs." he said in way of greeting.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, not happy to see her newest company.

"Come on, you missed me. Admit it." the man replied arrogantly.

"I don't understand." Courtney responded, frustrated. "I'm in jail, and I'm probably going to go to prison. I'm paying for what I did. So, why won't you leave me alone? Why are you here?"

"Temper, temper." he teased with a smile on his face. "You know my being here is nobody's fault but your own."

Courtney closed her eyes and pressed her hands against her temples, applying pressure at the growing headache she felt. She had no idea why she was still seeing Ric. It hadn't been since the island that she saw the dead man.

"My fault, I know. Because I shot you, right? Because I killed you."

The figure before her chuckled amusingly at her response. She was crazy. That was the only explanation for what was happening. Having an argument with a dead man; Courtney felt like the poster child for insanity.

"Oh Courtney, it's not that simple." he began to explain. "People kill other people all the time. Take our brother for example."

"Great. Once again it comes back to Sonny." she replied as she threw her hands up in the air. "Just great."

"Alright, if you don't want to go that route, how about Jason?" he asked, and continued at her silence. "As I was saying: Jason or Sonny, they've both taken part in their fair share of killings. Do you think they see their victims standing in front of them? Do you think they let the people they murdered linger constantly in their mind?"

"No." she answer softly.

"No. So why's it happening to you, you ask? Well, you've been cursed with what is called conscience; morals." he told her.

"Fine, I have a conscience. I don't just go to sleep at night after knowing that I took a life." she agreed, exhausted with the conversation. She ran her hand quickly through her hair and groaned with frustration. "But I'm paying for what I did! I'm behind bars, and Baldwin will do everything he can to make sure I stay that way for the rest of my life. Isn't that enough?"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you? But you…your something else. I mean, here you are still haunting yourself." he noted amusingly. "Still allowing yourself to feel guilt even after-"

"Ok, I get the point." she interrupted and turned away from him.

"Ouch. Hit a nerve?"

Courtney didn't give any sort of response. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and hugged herself. She wanted him to go away; to actually be dead. As dead to her as he was to everyone else in the world. She didn't want to hear him, and she really didn't want to see him. Suddenly, she felt his presence directly behind her and knew he was no longer outside the cell. The little ounce of security she felt from him meant absolutely nothing.

"You didn't tell him that, did you?" he said, in more of a statement than a question. "He doesn't know that detail. Just like he hasn't seen the bruises, I'll bet. No, I'm sure you made sure of that; even during your little romp in the sack."

She felt him running his hand up and down her arm. Closing her eyes, she tried to convince herself he wasn't there. That as soon as she was able to do that he would be gone. Him and everything he said; everything he made her remember and think about. Sitting in silence had been driving her up the wall, but she would prefer that a million times over than having to listen to him.

"Just go away." she whispered the order to him, letting a single tear roll down her face.

"Even after everything, you are still letting yourself feel guilty for what you did. Anyone else would feel completely in the right; justified. " he said softly in her ear, sending shivers running up and down her spine. "You were genuinely one of the good ones."

Then the silence returned. She didn't need to look to know that she was alone again. Even so, she turned around and her eyes searched for any indication that the dead man had ever been there. Nothing. He was gone. But his words weren't.

"_You were genuinely one of the good ones."_

"Maybe." she whispered to herself hearing his words. "Once."


	29. Crash Into You

**A/N:** no you're not hallucinating...i updated...HOORAY! sorry for the lack of, curse you work and the need for a steady paycheck &shakes fist angrily in the air& anyway, i'll have updates for each story this weekend.

_** P.S. IMPORTANTE!**_> to get the full affect of this chapter...i STRONGLY encourage you think the Talented Tams in this!

**Ch. 29 Crash Into You**

**  
**

She hadn't said anything to him, not since they spoke when she first arrived at the hospital. Not even after they'd heard the results from the doctor. Not a word. Sonny was not sure exactly what it was he had been expecting her to do, but he was expecting some sort of reaction. Instead, she only stood just inside the doorway, looking unfazed by the news.

A few minutes after the doctor's words had sunk in, she'd left; not giving him the opportunity to speak with her. They didn't arrive together, so he wasn't able to say anything to her on the way home, either. In truth, he had no idea what was going to happen from here on out. He arrived at the penthouse and was more than disappointed that Carly wasn't there. Pushing it aside, he fixed himself a drink and sat down on the leather couch.

The sound of the door opening quickly grabbed his attention. At the sight of his wife crossing the threshold, he rose to his feet, forgetting the drink which dropped to the ground without a care. Neither noticed Max close the door as they held each other's gaze.

She hugged herself tightly, feeling a wave of emotions going through her body. Sonny could clearly see the moisture glistening in her beautiful brown eyes and was almost positive that his own looked the same. He wanted to say something; he needed to say something. But nothing came to him.

Nothing and everything passed between them during the emotional silence. The thunderous, torturing, unbearable silence. After what felt like a thousand eternities for Sonny, the silence broke.

"Sonny?" she choked out as tears began to freely cascade down her face.

Hearing her voice; seeing her tears, Sonny suddenly realized that she was too far away from him. Taking quick steps, he was instantly in front of her.

"Come here." he said softly, wrapping his arms around her.

He felt her fall into him, viciously returning the embrace as if holding on for dear life. She buried her face in the crook of his neck as the tears became sobs that racked through her entire body. He squeezed back, just as tight, never wanting to loosen his hold on her. Never wanting to let her out of his sight. Surprising him, Carly pulled back slightly. She placed her forehead against his and softly, yet desperately ran her hands over his face. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling her fingers travel over his features.

"This isn't a dream?" she asked, stroking his face as his eyes began to water along with hers.

"No." he whispered, running his hand through her hair. "It's real."

"It's real." she repeated, laughing through her tears. "It's really real."

"Yeah." he replied as he pulled back and wiped away a few tears as more fell. "it's over."

"Yeah." she answered, smiling.

He didn't know how, but they made their way over to the couch without ever letting go or loosening the hold they kept on one another and sat down. He leaned back against the soft material, swearing in his mind that no matter how soft it was, nothing could ever beat the soft, tender feel of her skin against his. He felt her slender arms that were snaked around his midsection and her head as she laid it against his chest. She squeezed him tightly to her, telling him that she needed the closeness as much as he did. She needed to keep him as near as possible. He smelt the familiar scent of her hair; better than the sweetest of perfumes. A small vibration came against his chest and he knew that she was talking again.

"I was so scared." she said honestly. "So scared."

"Shh." he soothed, running his fingers lightly through her soft hair. It hadn't been that long since she'd refused to let him touch or even speak to her, but Sonny felt that anytime away from her was too much time. "There's nothing to be scared of; not now."

She knew what he meant. There would still be things to fear, but not right now. Right now it felt like all was right with the world. Mainly because at the moment, the only existing world was in her arms. The problems they needed to face would wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow was the furthest thing from her thoughts. As far as she was concerned, there was no such thing. Carly breathed in his scent as she lay against him and, if it was possible, pulled him closer to her.

"What do you want to do, now?" he asked, kissing the top of her head.

"Hold on." she said simply. "I just want to hold on."

The man nodded at her answer. It wasn't what he meant really when he had asked the question. He meant to ask what she wanted to do that night. Spend it with the boys, by themselves, or anything else her heart desired. Anything she wanted to do, he was ready and willing to oblige.

That's the way he wanted it to be.

The way it was going to be.

It wasn't what he meant, but he loved the answer.

Placing another kiss on her, he squeezed tighter and whispered to her.

"Forever."

_A/N: I know it was short and lacking journey, but I felt like it deserved a chapter all it's own. I completely pictured this scene in my head (with TB of course) and knew it needed to stand alone. Hope you liked. _


	30. Last Beautiful Girl

**A/N:** woohoo! updates make me go "WEE!" well that was a sad attempt for an a/n wasn't it? anyway, i'm going to have another ch in SPiral after i get off work tonight, i know..i know...i do too much...no i don't deserve your applause...well...maybe a little.

**Ch. 30 Last Beautiful Girl**

She heard him coming. It didn't surprise her, she knew he'd be coming soon. As he approached, she couldn't help but reflect on her situation. It was unbelievable how everything was turning out. Never in her life would she ever have pictured herself in jail for murder; let alone being guilty for it.

"What took you so long?" she joked, thought part of her meant it. The part that wanted him with her every second of every day. It was the same part that told her to tell him the whole truth; that wanted to reach out to him and beg for help.

"I had to pick something up." he answered.

"Cake with a file in it?" she asked sarcastically. When she saw he didn't take too well to the joke, she continued on seriously. "What?"

Jason turned his head in the direction he'd come from and nodded. She looked on curiously as someone else approached them. It was a man. On the short side, dark hair and skin. One of Sonny's many connections, no doubt. But what the hell was he doing there? Were they already planning a break out?

"Who's he?" she asked Jason, looking towards the man. "What's he doing here?"

"He's an ordained minister."

"That's nice. Come to read me my last rights?" she asked sarcastically.

"He's here to marry us." Jason informed, slightly nervous as to what her response would be. He looked in her eyes and saw the momentary shock transition into defiance.

"Well, he can turn around and go home." she said sternly. "No one is getting married today."

"Courtney, listen to me." Jason said, pleadingly. "We get married, I don't have to testify against you. You know Baldwin's going to call me to the stand. I know it's soon, but-"

"Damn right it's soon." she interjected angrily. "but that's not even the point. You only have a piece of what'll go down if we do this Jason. Here's how it works; we get married, and you spend the rest of your life trying to save me when I go to prison anyway."

"Don't talk like that." he ordered. "You won't go to prison. I won't let you."

"See, that's what I'm talking about. You'd devote your entire life to trying to help me and it'll cost you everything." she said, ignoring the sting of fresh tears behind her eyes." Your job, your family, your life; you'll lose it all."

"Damn it, Courtney, don't you see? You are my family; my everything. Losing my life wouldn't matter to me because it's not mine. It's yours. My life, my heart, my soul; it all belongs to you. And married or not, I'm going to fight for you; till the day I die." he said, desperately trying to get through to her. "I don't know what happened with Ric, but I want to. But even more than that, I want you to see that you need to fight this. For yourself and for us. I mean, we just found each other again, and I know you want a future together."

"I do, but Jason-"

"Then fight for it." he interrupted, hoping she would listen. That she would believe in him and their love. "Look in my eyes and see that there is something to fight for. Something to live for. Because that's what I see in you; my reason for living."

Courtney listened to his declaration, unsure of what she was going to do or say to him. She'd never felt so torn in her entire life. Having two sides of herself battling one another. Wanting to pull him close and push him away at the same time. She pushed her hair behind her ear and began to pace back and forth. Wrapping her arms around herself, she tried to think.

She looked over at Jason, she saw he really needed it. He needed this to hold on. In honesty, she wouldn't mind having something like this to hold on to. Something for the nights. It was so quiet at night. But as soon as the silence settled in, as soon as she would get used to it, the sounds would fill her head. The sounds from that night.

_Flashback_

_It was loud._

_In reality, she knew it couldn't possibly have been that loud._

_But to her; she had never heard a more deafening sound in her life. _

_She watched with wide as he fell to the floor. He hit the hardwood with a sickening thud. She felt the heavy metal slip away from her hands as she stared at him. _

_The blood._

_It was seeping through his pale button up shirt. Not seeping; flowing was more appropriate. The liquid oozed freely from him as he lay on the floor looking up at her. His dark orbs latching on to her blues. _

_She watched._

_His mouth moved as he tried to speak. He was trying to say something. But it was impossible to make out as his struggling voice was distorted with the gurgles and heaves of his body shutting down._

_She knew she should do something. Call for help. Call someone. Tell someone what was happening. But instead, she stood frozen in horror, her eyes glued to his fading ones._

_She watched. _

_The sounds. The gruesome sounds he made. She was stuck. She was stuck to the ground. Listening to the sounds, looking at his eyes._

_Then, in a second that felt like years, it stopped._

_Nothing in his eyes._

_No more sounds._

_It was silent._

_End Flashback_

"Courtney?" she heard him say.

Shaking her head, she looked over to him. She knew he'd seen her space out as she relived it. His eyes and face showed more concern and worry than she had ever seen in her life. He needed it. She could give it to him. It was the least she could do. A gift. She would do this for him.

"Ok." she said, surprised that she could find, let alone use, her voice. "Let's get married."


	31. Pushes And Shoves

**A/N: **I like updates! maybe i should do more! um...yeah...i think so.

**Ch. 31 Pushes And Shoves**

He stood in the elevator as it took him up to the penthouse. In the silent space, Jason raised his hand and examined the metallic band on his finger. She hadn't expected him to still hold on to it. But he had, and only moments ago she put it back on his finger. Once she had, it felt like he'd finally come up for air after spending hours underwater.

The disappointment of the odd ceremony was that he couldn't do the same for her. Jason promised her that the moment she was out, they could have a real wedding. He would put the ring on her finger. But all that mattered right now was they were married. Though he didn't need a piece of paper to tell him they were man and wife. He knew in his heart she was the only one that ever was or ever could be his wife, whether it was legal or not. The bell rang, bringing him out of his thoughts.

He stepped off the elevator and stood for a moment in the hall. He looked towards the door labeled PH4. He knew they would want to know, but at the same time he knew they were just getting through a rough patch and needed time for each other. So Jason decided he would tell them tomorrow. He entered his penthouse and sat on the couch. He took a look around and came to the realization that the place was empty. He had a few things here and there; but it didn't come close to even resembling a home to him.

After rising from the couch, Jason went upstairs to the bedroom. Once he entered, he immediately went to the dresser and opened the top drawer. He lifted a few shirts until the silver frame was revealed at the bottom. For a moment he only looked at it, as if afraid to touch it. He took in the still image the frame held; their wedding picture. The glass had a large crack and was missing several small shards.

A result of his anger after he'd signed the divorce papers, and shoved her out of his life. He'd stomped over to his apartment and began smashing and throwing everything he saw. It was only when he saw the heave, metal object crash against the wall that he stopped. He had regretted it immediately and put it away for protection in the even of any other outburst he might have. Shaking the memory away, he lifted the frame from the drawer to see what he'd kept under it.

Jason picked up the small, shining object and went back downstairs. She probably thought he'd gotten rid of it. But for some reason he didn't. He pulled out his key ring and attached it, allowing it to hang with the others. It always belonged there. It was a key to the happiest memories of his life. In all logical thinking, he probably should have tossed it or given to Courtney when he found out she bought the loft for herself. But he couldn't let himself part with it. Then as quickly as he'd come, he left again.

* * *

"We need to talk." the man said.

He waited for her response, but none came. He sighed and looked into the small area where he could see her. She was laying with her back to him on the mattress. She was ignoring him.

"This is serious. Come on, I know you're awake." he told her. Again she said nothing to him.

Justus suppressed the urge to shout. Usually he was good at keeping calm, but it got different when he had a near impossible case to face, not to mention an uncooperative client. He didn't favor the possibility that she was going to return to the silent treatment. Square one was not the place they needed to be so close to the trial. So he decided he was not going to leave until he got her speaking to him.

She heard him, but Courtney remained still. She didn't want to talk to him. He was there to talk about the case3 and it didn't appeal to her. He was going to ask her questions. Mainly one: What happened? She didn't want to think about it, let alone talk about it. But when he started talking about the headlines and all the stories he read in the paper, she figured he wasn't going to leave until she spoke to him or he talked her to death. Sighing, she rolled over and got up.

"What do you want?" she asked, knowing the answer he would give.

"We have to discuss your defense." he announced.

"What's there to discuss?" she asked, sarcastically. "I shot Ric."

Justus looked at her with brief surprise before returning to what she assumed was his courtroom face. He was the first person other than Jason she'd told that to.

"Ok. Tell me what happened." he ordered.

"I told you. I shot Ric." she said again. "I pulled the trigger and I stood there and watched him die in front of me. End of story. What else matters?"

"A lot." he answered, his frustration beginning to show in his voice. "It all matters, ok? Everything. The tiniest detail can be the difference between a life of freedom or a life in prison."

"The only thing that matters is that I am guilty."

"Guilty?" he repeated. "Alright, let's look at this; at what you're guilty of."

"Murder, Justus." she stated. "Murder."

"Ok. Did you go to Ric's planning to kill him?"

"No."

"Did you bring the weapon with you to his place?"

"No."

"Were you in a clear state of mind?"

"I was drinking." she answered ashamed at the confession.

"Were you defending yourself?" he asked, relieved that he was getting some information from her. She looked towards the floor, not answering his question. "Did you shoot Ric in self-defense?"

"I'm tired." she said suddenly. "We can finish this later."

"Wait-" he began, not ready to have her back down now.

"Goodnight, Justus." she interrupted, turning to make it easier to ignore him.

"Courtney." he said trying to get her attention back on him. He reached through the bars and grabbed her arm to turn her back around. The woman quickly jerked herself away from his touch and out of his reach. "Courtney, did Ric hurt you?"


	32. One Step Away From Down

**A/N: **sadly i let it happen again...i let my posts on LN get ahead of my posts here...so ONCE AGAIN, i'm playing catch up.

**Ch. 32 One Step Away From Down**

The blue eyed man walked down the familiar hallway, noticing how little it had changed since he'd been there last. He stopped in front of the door that held back so many memories. He inserted the key that was freshly removed from it's hiding place into the lock. His breath hitched when he heard the click of the door unlocking and tenderly turned the knob. He took a deep breath, realizing that all that separated him from a flood of memories was the slightest nudge against the wood.

Not putting it off any longer, Jason softly pushed the door until it opened completely. Before he could even enter, the images and sounds of the past hit him like a speeding train. He saw her sitting at the couch, scribbling her thoughts into her journal before looking up to see him. The beaming smile that came to her face lifted his heart and she raised from her seat and ran into his arms. It felt great to hold her again. To hear her laugh as he spun her around. Then it was gone.

As real as it had felt, he knew it was only his imagination. It faded away and he saw what was actually in front of him. To his dismay, it wasn't the warm, welcoming place he remembered. The empty loft was not warm and far from welcoming. Trash and containers of half eaten food belonging to the various take-outs of the city lay atop any and every flat surface of the apartment. The unfinished meals explained her noticed weight loss.

Jason was shocked by the condition of his surroundings. Courtney had always been more or less a clean person. Not a neat freak, but she kept things organized. Jason walked farther into the loft. His blue eyes roamed the trashed room as his hand went through his hair. He turned in a complete circle trying to take it all in. The toe of his boot bumped something on the floor that made a clinking noise. He knelt down and picked up the empty bottle, recognizing it immediately. Jason sighed, noticing it wasn't the only one of it's kind in the place.

The last time he'd been there was when he came and declared that he wanted to spend his life with her. The change since then was tremendous. Why hadn't he seen how hard she'd fallen? He was too caught up in his own angst to see what a bad way she was in. He brushed thoughts of regret away and began doing what he'd come to do. Not stopping once to dwell on the fact that he was spending his wedding night alone while his wife was in jail.

Justus sat in the hall outside the door, waiting. He'd tried to call his cousin's cell phone but it was going straight to voicemail. That meant it was either dead or off, and since Jason never turned his phone off, the man knew which of the options was correct. So he decided to simply wait for him. What they had to discuss was too important to wait until later as far as he was concerned.

The bell to the elevator rang and the doors opened, causing the young man to hop to his feet and look towards the compartment. He was surprised to see the man he'd been waiting for exit it carrying some boxes that appeared ready to overflow with their contents. Though confused, he went towards him and took one off his hands before it could fall.

"Thanks." he heard him say before following him into the penthouse and setting down the cardboard box.

"No problem." he answered. "What is this?"

"Some of Courtney's stuff from the loft." he informed, looking over what he was able to bring in one trip. "Thought I'd bring it over, you know, so the place is ready when she comes home."

"Home?" he repeated. "I didn't know you were moving in together again."

"Yeah. Yeah we are." he told him, not noticing the small smile that spread across his own face. "We, uh, we got married."

"Oh." Justus responded surprised by the news. "Well, congratulations I guess. I'm assuming the reason it happened so quickly was to keep from having to testify."

"That's one reason." he answered, then cleared his throat and looked cautiously at the lawyer. "You came here to talk about the case, right?"

"Right." he answered, trying to decide the best way to approach it.

"What is it?" he asked, seeing the look on his face.

"Well, I spoke to Courtney earlier." he started to explain.

"And?"

"And it went well. You know, she was actually speaking to me, for one. That's a step up from where we've been." he said, starting with the good news. "She was opening up a bit about it, answering questions."

"Ok." Jason said, nodding. "That's good. I mean, now you can help her."

"Yeah it's good Jason, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about." he informed and took a deep breath preparing to tell the listening man the details of their discussion. "When I asked her if it was self defense, she stopped."

"Stopped?" he repeated as a question getting a nod from the man before him.

"She tried to brush me off so I reached out to get her to focus." he explained, as Jason nodded to say he understood. "But as soon as I touched her, it was like she went on high alert."

"What are you saying, Justus?" he asked, unhappy with where he thought he was going.

"I'm saying…" he began, trying to voice his thought as gently as possible. "I'm saying I think Ric did something."

"To her, you mean."

"Yeah." he nodded. "And I asked her if he did."

"What did she say?" Jason asked, getting increasingly disturbed by the conversation.

"Nothing. She just ignored the question and me." he explained. " I hate to say it, but it looks like I'm right."

Jason felt himself lower to the cushions of the couch. He rested his chin on his folded hands and attempted to take in the information Justus brought to him.

"You're saying…" he began and quickly hopped back to his feet with a surge of adrenaline. "No. No, you're wrong."

"Jason, I wish I was. But I really don't think so."

"No, what you're implying-" he started, feeling his control slip away. He was hardly able to form a complete thought. "No. Not her; not Courtney. She wouldn't let that happen to her. She would-"

"Defend herself?" Justus interrupted.

"Yes, but she would tell me." he informed. "She wouldn't keep something like this a secret and she definitely wouldn't go to jail for it. She would come to me."

"You just proved while she wouldn't." Justus said. Seeing the unknowing look on his relatives face caused him to elaborate. "Let it happen? That's probably how she'd look at herself right now. Thinking she let it happen, and my guess is she doesn't want to seem weak; to you especially."

"This-This is just a theory, Justus." he shouted.

"Jason, calm do-"

"You have no idea if Ric actually-" he stopped suddenly, unable to say the word. When he tried to keep going he found his voice was losing strength the more he thought about it. "if she was…you don't know."

"Did anything happen while you were away together that might point to it?" he questioned. "Strange behavior. You know maybe she had markings or bruises; anything that would indicate a struggle."

"She was distant. But that's understandable, right? Whole town thinks she's a murderer, her family abandoned her. You know, who wouldn't be upset by that?" he said, remembering there time on the island.

"Anything else?"

"I don't kn-" he began but halted as another memory came to him. Justus noticed and knew it was something.

"What? What is it?"

"There was once, she kind of panicked and said hew as outside. But when I looked no one was there." he explained.

"He? Ric?"

"I don't know!" he shouted frustrated.

"Look, I know you're upset about this, but you need to think." he replied forcefully.

"I am thinking!" he said. "I told you. Courtney wasn't acting like herself and no I didn't see any bruises, or-or scratches, or anything that said she was in a fight!"

"Stay calm."

"No. You can't come here with these assumptions and expect me to stay calm. What you can do is your job; and that's making sure Courtney gets to come home. So turn around and do what you have to do to get that done."

With a sigh, Justus turned to leave, knowing it was useless to try and calm the man. He knew coming to Jason with his thoughts risked facing his temper. But he figured he could get something helpful from him. Once he calmed down, he'd be able to talk to him.

When the door closed, Jason felt his gate open. Unable to control his temper, he grabbed the edge of his coffee table and lifted brutally. The wooden fixture overturned easily and Jason stood over it as it did little to help his rage.

His stormy eyes caught sight of his reflection in the mirror above the fireplace mantle. That was who he was furious with; himself. Furious for not being there for her every second as he'd promised. He stomped to the mirror and stared harshly at the person looking back at me. He raised his fist to smash the glass but stopped as he caught the image of the band on his finger in the mirror. Lowering his hand, he took in a shaky breath and sat back down on the couch.

Jason gazed at the symbolic accessory for a moment. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes while he used the fingers of his right hand to stroke the cool metal circle. Twirling the ring around his finger, he felt a warm tear escape the corner of his eye.

It couldn't be true.

Not his wife. Not his Courtney.


	33. Am I Missing

**Ch. 33 Am I Missing**

Closer and closer.

It was getting closer to the assigned day. The day she would sit watching and listening to the people doing their best to either pardon or condemn her. Only another day before she was to attend the foolish spectacle.

Was this what the prisoners on death row did? Sit in their isolation and contemplate the time life? She didn't see how they couldn't. If you knew the exact date and time you were to die, how could you not calculate your remaining time down to the second. Every second that ticked by would be another second nearer to the controlled fate. There was a reason the knowledge was naturally kept from them.

But unlike an inmate on death row, Courtney was not dreading or fearing the date; she wasn't exactly going to go skipping into the courtroom either. Indifferent; that was the word. She wasn't really feeling one way or the other about it. What was going to happen, was going to happen; that's all she could say. Wherever her life went from there, she didn't know, it was out of her hands.

Jason asked her to fight. Fight to get back to him, fight for their love, fight for her self. It seemed like all her life, all she ever did was fight. The only thing that ever happened that didn't feel like a battle to her, was when she fell in love with Jason. But that didn't last long, as she had to fight for it as well. Against Sonny, A.J., and even Jason himself. Look where all that got her now. It only added to the horrid pattern of her life. Battling for something and ultimately losing it in the end. She remembered a time back in the beginning that Jason told her to stop fighting because there was nothing to fight for. He hadn't meant it and she knew that, so she kept at it. Doing everything she could to save what she felt was there.

What would have happened if she had listened to him? Where would they be? Happy? Sad? Alive? Dead? There was no way to know, just as she didn't know what lay ahead of her this time. Maybe she would take the advice now. Maybe she didn't want to fight anything anymore. But maybe she should at least make the effort.

For Jason. She could try for him; for her husband. She knew it was killing him; her sitting back and just letting everything happen without a word. But if he saw her fight and fail, that would be devastating to him also. Her entire life had whirled out of control, and there was little if any chance to get it back on track. The one thing she did know, she'd relinquished any and all control over her life when she pulled the trigger.

He took a step towards his destination but stopped and turned around. After a few feet in the opposite direction, he stopped again. Jason ran a hand down his face and turned back around again. He was driving himself crazy. His conversation with Justus rolling over and over again in his head. He needed to talk to her. He wouldn't be able to believe it unless she told him; unless he heard her say it. But so far he found himself unable to even enter the building.

How could he do it? How could he ask her to lean on him if he could barely stand with it on his own?

After taking in and letting out a deep breath, he made up his mind. All he could do was let her know he was there. That she could trust him with anything. No matter what happened or how bad it was, he was there and they would get through it together.

Jason quickly opened the door and all but threw himself through the entrance to make sure he couldn't think twice about it. He released another deep breath, that was one hard thing done. But certainly not the hardest. But now that he'd taken the first step, he had to figure out how he was going to take the next.

Talk to her; that was obvious.

But this wasn't some casual conversation he was heading into. It wasn't asking someone how their day had been or what they'd had for lunch. It was something much bigger than that; bigger than them both. But it didn't matter, because he knew that they could survive it. If it's even true, that is. In his thought process, Jason caught sight of Mac Scorpio exiting his office and an idea sparked in his head. With the notion, he quickly traveled towards the older man.

"Mac." he said upon approaching him.

"Jason." he replied with a nod by way of greeting. "I assume you're here to see Courtney."

"Yeah." he nodded to him.

"Right, well you know where to find her. Talk to Officer Truman over there he's got cell duty, he'll take care of you." he instructed nonchalantly and began to walk away, looking at the open folder in his hands. Jason took a few strides, putting himself in the man's way.

"That's what I need to talk to you about." he said, regaining his attention. "I have a favor to ask."

The commissioner looked at him curiously as he made the statement. It wasn't like Jason Morgan to ask a favor of anyone, least of all a member of the law enforcement. Though as a member of the police force, he knew he should immediately dismiss the man and make it clear that he couldn't bend or compromise anything for him; that he should be the police officer and be the authority. But his curiosity was greater than his obligation, so he made up his mind to at the very least hear what it was he wanted. It didn't mean he would oblige.

"Alright, Morgan." he said, "What is it?"

The uniformed man opened the door and gestured for her to go inside. She did so, entering the familiar room that she was last in while having yet another argument with her older brother. Courtney didn't know what she was doing there, but she didn't ask. She had asked him what was going on when he first approached her and let her out of the God-awful cell she'd been residing in. He hadn't answered her than, so she figured not to bother again.

There was a reason for it, so she sat down and decided to just wait to see what was what. It wasn't unwelcome to be somewhere outside of her assigned abode. But of course, she wasn't able to actually enjoy the small amount of freedom. With the handcuffs placed back on her wrists and the unsightly outfit she wore, it was impossible to forget where she was.

"Huh. This is different." the voice said. She didn't want to look up, knowing she would be seeing him again. But against her better judgment, she did so anyway. He stood at the far end of the room and began walking around, looking at the room as if he were a kid back in his old bedroom after being away at college. "Well, I wonder what all this is about."

She put her elbows on the table and leaned her face into her hands, wondering why this had to keep happening. She didn't know much about dying, but weren't dead people supposed to move along to some other place? When someone died, people described them as 'gone', but the man wasn't in the least bit gone. As if he could read her mind and see that she wanted him no where near her, Ric sat down in the chair across from her.

"What do you think?" he asked amused as a kid trying to guess his surprise. When she didn't answer, he leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand and continued. "Think maybe big brother pulled some strings?"

"Leave." she ordered in a whisper, knowing that if she shouted it everyone on the other side of the door would most likely hear her.

"Come on," he said, " I don't get to see what happens?"

"No."

"Well, that's not fair." he said, feigning offense. "What did I ever do to you?"

The woman lifted her head from her palms and glared at him upon hearing the words. She caught eyes with the annoying image that continued to come to her, wishing looks could kill, even someone that was already dead. Once she did, realization came across his face and he threw his head back to let out yet another chilling laugh.

"Oh, that." he replied laughingly with a clap of his hands before walking to her side of the table and leaning against it. "That's right, you're still upset about that, I forgot. In all fairness you did shoot me, hell, you killed me. Between the two of us, I think I should be the one mad at you."

She put her head back down, trying to tune him out and began to wonder if there was even a reason she was in there. There had to be, and she wished whatever she was waiting on would just happen. Mainly that whoever was supposed to be coming through the door would just do it already. Anyone was better company then annoying apparition.

"You're not going to even listen to me now?" he asked amused. "That doesn't seem fair; not giving me time out of your life when you ended mine."

"Life's not fair." she mumbled in response.

"Now you're getting it; life's not fair." he said with a smile. "Of all people I know that, and I'm going to tell you something; it's a real kicker."

He lifted himself away from the table and faced the same direction she was. Placing one hand on the flat surface and another on the back of her chair, he leaned in closer and spoke in a low voice to her. Low enough that , even if other people were in the room and could see him, she would be the only one hearing his words.

"Pretending it didn't happen isn't going to make any of it go away. This, "he said, removing his hand from the chair and placing it on the specific spot of her back. The contact sent a shiver to travel up her spine, and made her skin crawl. But that went unnoticed compared to what she felt at the place his hand lay. She felt the throbbing pain from the contact with the tender area. She sucked in a sharp breath as he put more pressure on it and continued speaking. "for example, is one thing that won't go away simply by willing it to."

She heard the doorknob turn and immediately felt Ric's absence. She let out a deep breath, relieved that the ghost, or hallucination, or whatever the man was had left. Courtney cautiously looked up to see her blue eyed husband enter with the commissioner behind him.

"You're probably wondering why you're here." Mac said to her, to which she nodded. "Jason informed me that you two are married now. So here's the deal, I've decided to allow you two a private visit in here. No cuffs, no cell, no supervision. I'm being extremely generous here, so I expect no funny business. There will be guards posted outside the door in case you decide to try something. Can you promise me I won't regret this?"

"Yeah." she said to him, giving him a small smile of gratitude when he took the handcuffs off. "Thanks."

"Yeah, well, just remember your promise." he said, turning away and pointing his finger at Jason. "That goes for you as well. Nothing."

Jason nodded and closed the door behind the man after his exit. He quickly made his way across the room and engulfed her in his arms. He couldn't describe how great it felt to have her in his arms and feel hers around him. The man pulled back to gaze at her. He caressed her face with his hands, indulging in the softness of her skin. Taking after him, she placed her hands on either of his cheeks, looking in to his eyes and feeling the corners of her mouth turn up in small smile.

"You may kiss your bride."


End file.
